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"I smoke Cigars in moderation, only one at a time"

Mark Twain

A friend of mine in Texas said his truck magically started showing the correct time on Sunday:)

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Dogs can't operate an MRI but
Catscan!

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This is for GEEZER....

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If you are cold, just stand in a corner, they are usually 90 degrees....

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The story of my life.....

Easy, just follow the instructions.....

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I remember a day in Basic Training, it was raining like hell and we double timed it on an 8 mile hike with full gear. One of the guys said to a sergeant, "It's Raining"! Well first of all you don't...

Did you hear about the Fatman who got his shoes shined?

He had to take the guy's word for it.....

Q: What does a Thesaurus eat for breakfast?



A: A Synonym Roll

Did you hear about the recall on Butter Ball Turkeys?

They forgot to butter the balls!

Sign of the Times....

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So a German, a Czechoslovakian and a Texan go hunting for bear. They come across a Mama and Papa bear in the woods. Before they could shoot, two of them were eaten alive.
The Texan got away he...

Q: Where does a General keep his Armies?




A: In his little Sleevies....

Geezer, that's "RICH"!

For enough money I'll stop telling these bad jokes.

So a pirate goes to get his ears pierced. He asks the lady "How much". She says "A Buccaneer".

A man walks into a bar with a loaded 1911, he puts one round into the ceiling. He yells, " I've got 7 rounds left, whose been fucking my wife"?
A voice from the back of the room says, "You're going...

If Trump is elected ISIS will have Hell, toupee...