I feel your pain too! But as the title to this thread is "Dadburn;" note that if you are a father of kids still in diapers, you probably have some of the best "burn fighting" stuff on hand.

That "but cream" stuff for kids, works like magic on burn. If you can get your hands on a product by Johnson & Johnson called Penaten... Well, it worked so well for me, I was thinking of repackaging it into little containers and selling it as a burn solution. Probably will not get too may repeat orders though as I doubt you'll ever do 5 passes again lol!