Thread: Glycerin

I never before thought about buying glycerin. Now, to get hopped up lather I find I need glycerin. I never before needed hopped up lather. Now, because of Glen I find I need hopped up lather and the elusive oil called glycerin is the key. I always grouped glycerin with guar gum, xanthan gum, F&DC #6 and other stuff I only know exists because it is printed on product labels. I would have thought it would be easier to find heroin or gelignite but someone wrote they found glycerine at Whole Foods. I went to the nearest Whole Foods but the kid I asked said they had no glycerine. He did however begin showing me various products that had the word glycerin printed on the label. He asked me what I wanted to do with it. I told him I wanted to smear it on my cat. They did have hemp oil. I bought a large bottle of it.

I went straight home and added a little hemp oil to my shave soap. I worked up a lather and spread it on my face. It seemed somehow inadequate so I added more hemp oil and spread more lather on my face. I picked up my razor but I was oddly compelled to put more hemp oil in my mug. I poured a full mug of the oil and just swished my brush around in it. Then I found myself painting my face with the sraight hemp oil. Before long I had forgot why I was in the bathroom in the first place and went into the kitchen to eat a full bag of potato chips.

The next day I went to another health food type store called Mrs. Green's. There I found a bottle marked "vegetable glycerin". I bought it but have yet to use the stuff. I wonder if there is glycerin that is not "vegetable"? I like meat. I want "meat glycerin". Maybe even "pork glycerin". I love pork:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Pork/

Brad