Success always happens in private, while failure happens in full view
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Success always happens in private, while failure happens in full view
My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
My first wife and I were having a big fight when she said - I was a fool when I married you. I said yes I know, but at the time I was in love and it didn't matter
an expert: someone who made all possible mistakes in a particular field.
An expert is someone who has guessed right more than once.Quote:
Originally Posted by grizli
Expert: Someone who brings confusion to simplicity.
~Richard
It's said that.........A little wine can help brain function.......but don't turn the neurons into morons.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
rs,
Tack
Every warning label has an awesome backstory.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Ha, that reminds me of a time years ago when I commented upon a warning label (of the "don't use the hair drier in the shower" type) and my dad said, "That's because there was this ONE time when some dumbass.. "Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrank
rs,
Tack
"This toaster is not to be used for the other use" :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrank
I'm still sorry for the dog that was put into the microwave. And I'm still staggered the owner won the case against the manufacturer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrank
I got divorced because my marriage was about as fun as being a computer salesman in an Amish village.
I'm glad I left the Pennsylvania Dutch community with its backwards ways, but sometimes Amish the simpler life.
There seems to be something Amish with this thread; I hope we can fix it.
Telling jokes such as this to Ezekiel Jeremiah Scholtz would be Amish-take.
I have worked with the Amish many times and they are a pretty funny group once they get to know you. They told me the mechanic joke and many others. The first time I worked with them I had just got back from a 4 month job in Germany. They of course spoke in German to each other. After lunch on the third day I asked where the level was in German the leader pointed and then a look of terror came over his face and he ask if I spoke German. To this I winked and said the slang they were using was hard to understand but I got most of it. We all agreed to speak English after that. To this day I will never forget the look on his face as he tried to remember what he might have said that he thought I was out of the loop on.
Inferiority complex.Quote:
Originally Posted by hidestoart
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
You're wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by hidestoart
There is nothing more terrifying than ignorance in action. (Goethe)
~Richard
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know
Do you think we could use more TACK?
If I am right and you are right than we are both wrong.
If I am right and you are wrong then that proves my IQ is higher than yours.
If I am wrong and you are right than you are a blithering idiot to think you know it all.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure lets you pick your own form of misery.
~Richard
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Razorfeld
Yes, but if you are right 90% of the time, why quibble over the other 3%?
rs,
Tack
This statement is false.
So true. But then, what isn't. Life is like winter weather, mostly gray with streaks of hilarity.Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthLord
This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
~Richard
Mother: "Why are you home from school so early, son?"
Boy: "I got to come home because I was the only one who could answer a question."
Mother: "Why, I'm proud of you son, what was the question?"
Boy: "Who started the fire in the wastebasket?"
rs,
Tack
I got my education reading National Geographic Magazines in Mother Superior's Office. I was usually there or suspended.
~Richard
Hmm.. on the heels of my rant a week or two ago about medicating supposed ADHD suffering kids, I saw this today:
The Business of Attention Deficit Disorder - Slashdot
rs,
Tack
It's a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for thirty years.
rs,
Tack
Out to dinner with the wife the other evening, she was trying to get me to have a huge fru-fru salad versus a nice big steak.
Finally I said to her, sweetie, nice try, but I'll believe a salad is "to die for" when a convict chooses one for his last meal.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Before marriage, a man yearns for a woman; afterwards, the "y" becomes silent!
~Richard
True story from my house
My wife loves to use We can do this or We can do that for intended or planed work around the house. About 5 years ago I told her I deciphered the code, by simply turning the w upside down I got the meaning of what she was saying.
A man by suffering through, going beyond, giving more & enduring thus "earns"Quote:
Originally Posted by Geezer
+1: aint that the truth!Quote:
Originally Posted by hidestoart
Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
~Richard
Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.