The Bible say from the abundance of your heart, your mouth will speak....... You can tell whats in a mans heart when he hits his thumb with a hammer !!!!!
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The Bible say from the abundance of your heart, your mouth will speak....... You can tell whats in a mans heart when he hits his thumb with a hammer !!!!!
Razorfeld (and all who have posted)...
I really enjoy this thread, usually puts a smile on my dial when a new post comes through via email :)
Andrew
AndrewJM, you are most welcome. I honestly believe that a little humor goes a long way to easing most bad days. A good joke, a touching moment, an unusual sight - they all, to me, reaffirm that all is not bad and evil in this limited world of ours.Quote:
Originally Posted by AndrewJM
Well you know what they say, "seven days without a pun makes one 'weak'". :rofl2:Quote:
Originally Posted by AndrewJM
WORLD TO END TOMORROW: Women, Minorities Hardest Hit!
Some thing to think about.. :hmmm: The crap you do today, might be the S#@T you step in tomorrow !!!
Depends on where you did it, or whether you work at the water treatment facility :hmmm:Quote:
Originally Posted by Walterbowens
"Democracy may not be a good system, but it was the best one so far devised!"
~Richard
And heaven and earth stand still when you hit your little toe against the leg of a table or so.Quote:
Originally Posted by Walterbowens
The first few seconds it's impossible to say a word..
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
My old Saskatoon neighbor, Holden, is in trouble again.
This time for forgetting his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. So she told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds." "AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning Holden got up very early and left the house. When his wife awakened, she looked out the window and, sure enough, there was a gift wrapped box in the middle of the driveway. Confused, she put on her robe, went out to the driveway, and brought the box back into the house. She opened the box and found a brand new bathroom scale!
Please pray for Holden, he's been missing since last Friday!
Marital Bliss....aahh, makes your heart sing.
A thoughtful Scottish Husband was putting his coat and hat on to make his way down to the local pub.
He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Maggie - put your hat and coat on, lassie.’
She replied, 'Awe Jock that's nice - are you taking me to the pub with you?'
'Nay,’ Jock replied ‘I'm turning the heat off while I'm out.'
" Take my wife..Please!!!"
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." Yogi Berra
A sadist is someone who's nice to a masochist.
"Personally I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband, if she'll fool a husband she'll fool me."
- Mike O'Hara
The Lady from Shanghai
A girlfriend is like summer storm. Here today and blown over tomorrow.
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error
-- John Kenneth Galbraith,
Canadian-American economist
Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
I was trying to remember the definition of 'nebulous'... The details are fuzzy.
You've really got to hand it to the IRS.
What did Adam do to God that made him put Eve in the garden of Eden??
Interesting question. Complain that he wanted to have a good time? Not wash his underwear for a very long time?Quote:
Originally Posted by Geezer
The greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection
-- Henri Nouwen,
Dutch writer
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
- Dick Cavett
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face !
~Richard
Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom
-- Merry Browne,
writer
The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress
-- Charles Kettering,
American inventor
"Why is it that there is never enough time to do the job right the first time but always enough time to do it over"?
From Jim Dick (Safeway Store Manager) who hired me 35 years ago this coming May 24th. Lost him to cancer 24 years ago/he left a wife and two teen age daughters :banghead:
I have always liked that one...heard it for years from a former boss. This one was another of his favorites:Quote:
Originally Posted by cudarunner
"A lack of planning and preparation on your part does not make an emergency on my part."
Way back when the World and I were young (70's) there was a movie that had a 'phrase' and I've tried to live my life by that phrase and that is;Quote:
Originally Posted by ReardenSteel
Practice the 6 P's
Proper
Planning
Prevents
P**s
Poor
Performance
:shrug:
No effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost
-- Helen Keller,
American author and activist
Take life with a grain of salt
A slice of lime
And a shot of tequila
I'll have that just before dinner tonight.
Sent to me by a very dear friend, a veteran/survivor of way too many gun fights...(and one is too many)
"It's only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you
realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence."
"If a job is worth doing, there is no reason not to do it as well as it can be done in the time available"
Anon.
~Richard
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand
-- Kurt Vonnegut,
American writer
When your best just isn't good enough, you most likely never applied yourself.
I think, therefore I shouldn't.
Don’t let people drive you crazy when you know it’s in walking distance.
~Anonymous