Or, as they (used to?) say in California, "Don't get even, get odd!"
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"There's only going to be two hits.
"One when I hit you and two when you hit the ground".
My father: Watons (Tod) Davis RIP
"People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends, I need a Ouija board."
— Betty White
Read this one on Coupe Chou CLub, the French straight razor forum.
C’est quand tu vois un moustique se poser sur tes couilles que tu sais que rien ne se résout par la violence.
Translated that is: When a mosquito lands on your nuts you know that violence solves nothing.
Duct tape can't fix stupid, but it does help to muffle the sound..
A man will marry the best looking woman he can afford.
A woman will marry the richest guy she can stand.
Men use power and money for sex.
Women use sex for power and money.
Everybody fantasizes about someone else while “doing it”.
Men prefer the company of other men in their same income tax bracket.
Women prefer the company of other women with their same butt size.
The only people who are hungry in the US are single women on diets looking to marry rich.
Any man who doesn't admit to "coveting" his neighbor's attractive wife is either gay, ill, lying or the neighbor's wife is ugly.
Most men would rather have three 7s for a weekend than one 10; variety trumps quality.
Most men would rather do it three times, once with each of three different women, than nine times with the same woman.
I'm fat, but I identify as skinny.
Proud to be trans-slender..