Thread: Keeping kids out of my yard

of course you could just invite lou for a few weeks and he'll solve your problem.

The open yard (front and back), or even yard with a very low picket fence, is something that seems quite typical of North American home life. I've stayed in various estates and gated communities in the US where they even go as far as having rules about what colour you can paint your house and what you can or can't have in the front garden. It's a culture that seems to want to avoid walls, fences, and barriers on property borders.

Compare that to the UK. I think we must all hate our neighbours because every garden is hemmed in by solid fences at least 6 feet high. Privacy is utmost: "An Englishman's home is his castle" and all that. I myself have tall shrubs and trees to ensure as much of my garden is out of sight to neighbours as possible.

Anyway, ideas to help you.... umm... you could sit in a rocking chair on the back porch wearing a lumberjack shirt with a beer next to you and your rifle laying on your lap. Then when you see the kids come round turn around to shout back into the house "Paw, they're here agin paw. Can I catch one and keep him? I'll promise to feed him this time?"

Put in a wiffle ball stadium with chalk lines, the whole nine yards, that way the kids look like they belong there. Its either that or a fence I'm afraid.

Originally Posted by syslight

of course you could just invite lou for a few weeks and he'll solve your problem.

Or have Rich come over and shave commando in the back yard!

Get to know them it only bothers you or the wife because they are strangers, Go out there and say hello bring the wife and maybe a big jug of ice cold lemonade.

Invite everyone over for a backyard BBQ, so you make a great first impression and get to know everyone. Then start planting some flowerbeds along your property lines, and have a few gentle words with the appropriate parents when it comes time to defend the flowers.

Build a fence. I would. I don't see why not?

Nenad

Buy those little flags use to indicate where insecticides/weed killers have been sprayed and plant them throughout the back yard. Then tell the neighbors you've spread chemicals in your yard and they need to keep their kids away from it. Actually spraying the yard is optional, of course.

Seriously though, it's a tough problem. I doubt there's any solution that doesn't make you and your wife out to be ogres to someone.

If one of the kids gets hurt playing ball (or due to any discouragement you've attempted... eg, the pit bull idea) you'll have a question of liability against your home owners insurance and angry neighbors.

I'd be more inclined to discuss the problem with the owners of the adjoining properties and let them know that you are not always home and for safety's sake you'd rather they not let their kids play in your yard without permission. When you're home and the kids come to ask you can then put whatever restrictions on their play you want... eg, keep the noise down, play only in a particular area of the yard, not today because we'll be leaving soon, etc.

Start looking for a good lawer now to try to keep your house for you when the first one gets hurt

I have a very good solution that will cause the children to stay out of your yard all by themselves.

All you need is a shovel, a sheet pan and a friend with a big ass dog.

Go to his house and pick up 20-40 piles of shit, put them on the pan, and take them home.


Now all you need to do is try to figure out where the base lines are !!!!

I recommend a very light spray with the hose to "set" each pile.

AND

if that doesn't work then get the motion sensor sprinkler and hose the kids.
Then try to claim that you had no intention of wetting the kids but had only placed the sprinkler to deter whatever giant creature had been shitting on your lawn !!
After all, you don't even own a dog, right?

You can always claim that you had been so busy working on the house that you hadn't even noticed the kids