Thread: Keeping kids out of my yard

OK, this could be a fun topic. I'm looking for serious answers as well as outlandish suggestions:

My wife and I recently bought a single family home in Suburbia, USA. We have about a third of an acre--nothing that large, but the house is well positioned so we have a decent backyard.

Herein lies the problem. There's a group of about five to 10 kids that likes to hang out back there and play wiffle ball in our yard. In fairness, a couple of them do have backyards that adjoin ours.

This is annoying me and really annoying my wife. Mainly it's annoying her more because I'm spending most of my time at the house under the kitchen sink, laying tile, etc. and don't see them as much. (We're remodeling the new house while living in the one we just sold...) I suspect part of the problem is that we're not living in the house full time yet.

I don't want to put up a fence, because that just hems everything in. (I keep explaining to my wife that Hemingway was being facitious when he wrote "good fences make good neighbors.") I like the idea of a more open area that's a little more useable for everyone.

But these kids are being pretty obnoxious about it. They're practically on the back porch at times. They're also tearing up my lawn. I wouldn't mind it if they'd ask, but they just act like they're entitled to be there. (This goes back to our thread on teachers--kids aren't taught respect these days. Oh, yeah, the parents sit out on the deck and watch the little trespassers... )

I'm way too young (26) to become the crusty old man who scares everyone away. And I don't want to start World War III with the new neighbors. I guess I'll need to have a talk with some of the offenders and their parents; it's frustrating that that's even necessary, though.

Any other suggestions for keeping them at bay? I've suggested motion-sensing gattling guns, an idea that my wife likes.

Josh

Works for Dogs and Cats


....of course, you could always just nicely ask them to respect your property lines.

(....but where's the fun in THAT???...)

-whatever

-Lou

another idea .......





you could either buy 3 Pit-Bulls, or invite GW up for a week or so.....


....let him practice his 'knife-fu' in the back yard every morning....THAT should scare the bejeezus out of the little buggers!

(...at least it SHOULD.....it sure scares the dickens out of ME!...)

-okay....I'm done

...I promise

-whatever

-Lou

DAMN!!

I can't help it! I just keep getting these brilliant ideas!

Okay....here goes....
















Country Western music.........LOUD Country Western music....you know, the OLD stuff.....Tex Ritter.....Merle Haggard.....who was the goofy one with the outfit???.....


oh yeah....Buck Owens




(.....hell, I don't think the COWBOYS liked THAT sh!t....)


....okay.....


...I'll be good now

-whatever

-Lou

Well, Josh, I have mixed feelings about your problem. I understand that you're protective of your yard, as am I. OTH, there is something special about kids being able to play outside, and I remember wiffle ball being lots of fun. Too many of today's kids sit with their thumbs on some video game instead of enjoying what God has given us. (This is open for debate, but I suspect the other fellow had something to do with the video games.) I love to hear the sound of children playing, which is one reason I chose to live in a town rather than a more secluded area. I remember that as a boy I ranged freely, and quite often ran afoul of adults asserting their right not to have me on their property.
Having said all of that, I am also guilty of running kids out of my back yard.

Norm

Josh,
land mines, although motion sensing weapons are nice, if you place your mine correctly you can claim that they were there before you bought your house.
latex paintballs, refrigerated, punji stakes in the ground, GW will cry because they are not kosher... rock salt loaded shotgun rounds.

of course some fence posts with no tresspassing signs is a fun place to start take pictures and call the cops.

i get poachers, i find a .22 into the radiator core, near the top works nicely, they get a few miles away before the problems begin.

Hemingway was not being facetious. He was spot on.

Seriously, have you thought about introducing the kids to Str8 razor shaving? Give them several to experiment with. Their parents will probably never let them play in your yard again!

Have a 6'x2' subtle berm somewhere towards the back edge of the property. Leave a spade and a back of Lime on the back porch.

Okay, missed the part about the wiffle ball.

how about this. evertime they play, demand that as a part of playing in your yard you get to join them, and then play full contact.

Level the little suckers.

Originally Posted by mhailey

Okay, missed the part about the wiffle ball.

how about this. evertime they play, demand that as a part of playing in your yard you get to join them, and then play full contact.

Level the little suckers.

That would work. Unless they are bigger than you are.

Kids are a lot bigger now than when I was a kid.