Thread: My Wife Is Having A Career Crisis Moment

Hello Gentlemen!
This morning my wife brought up the subject of starting a new career. She works at a nice restaurant with with various positions and usually makes reasonable income.
She had previously gone to beauty school but decided against it (though she was excellent at it) halfway through.

Today she said she thinks maybe she might consider becoming an auto mechanic... And what do I think?

Well it seems as though no right answer short of full agreement could come out of my mouth.
"Well babe, if you really want to then you should do it. Let me tell you what I know: the work conditions can be a bit miserable, fairly low starting pay, it's hard on you body, and you'll be hanging out with dudes most the time."
This was an unacceptable answer. She was angry.
Where did I go wrong?

You guys have any suggestions on tact?
Any suggestions I could offer her as to a way she could explore better career options?

Most of you guys have a few years on me, and I'd be grateful for some advice.
I know this isn't a shave question, but outside work, I get a whole bunch of steady advice on many matters from this forum.
Thanks!

That is classic .... when the wife asks what do you think? it means you had better f'n agree with me. period.

Your response should ALWAYS be Honey, I support you in what ever your little heart desires.

NEVER start with the negatives of the subject, just positive and move into the negatives as the conversation rolls.

Just my humble opinion, I should probably not be giving advice given my marital history

Mike

I'd have to agree with Mike on this one!

Sometimes there is no "right" answer unless it is complete agreement. Personally, I think you are a better husband by speaking truth rather than just blind agreement. I've been married 28 years, and sometimes my wife is happy with my responses and sometimes she is not. However, she prefers honestly.

My oldest boy is a mechanic and recently went from auto mechanics to heavy equipment mechanics. You are spot on with your description of it. Plus, he always smells like gas and oil and his back often out of whack from lifting heavy parts. If she is really interested in doing something different, she might want to speak to a career counselor or review some websites that help folks chose careers. My advice to folks is always to consider what you are passionate about and figure out how to leverage that passion to make a living.

Well, I've been married to the same gal for 42 years and what I've learned is most women don't have much of a sense of humor and they don't take criticism very well.

Just tell her to do whatever makes her happy.Some folks male or female just have to learn life's lessons by doing. Some never learn.

Well, I have no idea how she arrived at her choice. Does she have any experience with pulling wrenches? If not some exposure might be a good idea. I can’t imagine starting and education into a field I knew nothing about, at a personal level. I think if that’s what she really wants to do then she should start by finding a shop willing to give her some time working as a pre apprentice. Ideally it should be a shop that would also be willing to take her on as an apprentice. Start with a short leave from work, whatever she can get, two weeks to two months, take that time to get involved with the choice. If she is in love with it there will be no problem moving forward, if she does not like it but still wants to work with her hands there are cleaner careers like engineers for aircraft. For those not familiar they are maintenance technicians. There are a lot of different ways to make a living. Happiness is super important. There are also carreeer councillors that help you figure out what’s is the most likely place you will find a job you are passionate about.

thebigspendur is right. If she is really invested in her decision, you're not going
to change her mind.

She heard what you said. If her career change turns out to be as you predicted,
definitely don't start with the "I told you so's". Just be ready to catch her when
she falls.

Gently, my man...gently. Remember the laws regarding "equal and opposite
reactions".

Good luck.

Oh man, these are some great replies, thank you guys!
I should have used a bit more tact in the way of listing the pros before the cons. Perhaps I should have been supportive, helped find a path forward in that regard, and then suggested some cons.

Suggesting the time off work to "experience" a bit more, sounds about right.
I'll also contact a career planner.

I'm fixing a blown head gasket on my Nissan next week, not the easiest job but not the hardest. Perhaps I might ask her to help..
Never went to school, I just learned along the way, it might help her to see it done though.

This has a feel of one of those situations where practical direct advice is not what she is looking for. Careful listening and finding out why this and why now is probably the safest approach.

Pour some oil on her, add some grease into her hair, and throw some rust in her face. If not a whimper comes from her lips, she'll make a fine mechanic.