Thread: Dear Auntie Jimbo -- my floppy brush

Dear Mark,

I just read your note about your friend's brush, but I'm having trouble understanding where do you fit in? Since I am not one of those guys that beats around the bush and I much prefer to just hit the ball in I will be rather direct with you. Do you perhaps have the tendency to refer to yourself in third person? I am asking, because the only thing that is worse of having a BFD (brush functionality disorder) is not admitting it. Actually there is one thing that would be worse than even that - getting too close to and even too familiar with your friend's brush! It matters not if it's stiff or floppy, horn, or snakewood... just don't even think about it - next thing you will be thinking of 'borrowing' it ... Just don't, enough said!

Brushes are rather personal members - one must gently strike one's own brush only but on a regular basis and will be rewarded for doing so.

All this being said rigtht now I have my own brush right in front of me and let me tell you it is big and stiff, extremely well proportioned/balanced, and the tip is the best one ever. And this is how it's always been. I am pretty sure it is several standard deviations above the average brushes in all respects, but that is based only on my familiarity with the scientific statistics - as you may guess I would never look at other man's brush (female brushes are completely different and unrelated matter, though, plus these days they are becoming quite a rarity and need not concern us at the moment).

Of course it's your... uhm I mean "your friend's" brush, so I'm going to stay out of this and instead spend some more time with my own.

Mr. Up Standing

Dear Mr Upstanding

How very DARE you! Let me tell you sir, there is nothing wrong with my brush. It may not have the knot size and girth of yours (that's if we take your word for it, since men are prone to exaggerating the size of their knot), but it's the only brush I own and I'm perfectly satisfied with it.

People are often accused of referring to themselves in third person when concerned for a friend, but let me tell you this... majurey certainly does not fall into this category. Oh no, he's 100% genuine on this.

Let us dwell no more on this topic, as Auntie Jimbo has provided her (?) usual high quality response.

But I do have another issue. Another friend of mine has managed to ding his spike point on the edge of the bathroom basin. I dunno how... I guess he was getting too close to it when shaving commando. He tells me it still works, but is concerned he can no longer use it on his wife (for her legs of course), and is worried what she will say next Sunday morning -- they shave her legs every Sunday morning like
What should he do? I've told him to come clean, but with a ding in the end of his spike point, I'm not sure he can anymore.

Sincerely
Mark