Thread: Your thoughts about private schools

parents play a very limited role in the development of young adults. Their peers are more influential. My family's experience seems to confirm that. However, our experience probably will not have any relation to what you decide. I think that volumes are written about this subject by experts.

I am one of four modestly successful public high school educated kids. Each of us became able to put a house over our families' heads, put food on the table and save for college for our children. I'm not impressed with the relationship among us as adults, however.

Our oldest son elected to attend public high school - he tested into the private Jesuit school but he wanted to be with his friends, which we agreed to. He is a very smart and intelligent young adult, but he was influenced by the extreme interests found in a public high school. He recently dropped out of a very prestigious private college after two + years - to my chagrin. He also seems to be more detached from family then our two younger sons. However, he has a very good "fast track" job with a prominent software development company, so he is happy and he is doing what he wanted to do ever since he was able to think about what he wanted to do when he grew up.

Our other two younger sons attend a private Jesuit college-prep high school - the middle son, a senior, is energized about going to college. Our youngest son is a slow learner - but I think his school cares for him more than the public school would have, and I think he would also have been easily influenced by the fringe groups in a public high school. There are "fringe groups" in the private HS, but they seem to be less extreme. I'm glad that they both are in this environment, however they also are not exposed to the same kind of "real world" that seems to be what they will experience when they enter the real world work force. Both of them are very concerned young adults -- the senior spent his spring break in Ecquador serving poor kids in a catholic mission - and he returned very proud about it.

My view is you need to determine your child's strengths and weaknesses and decide with him or her what you think is the best place for them. Never an easy putt.

Good luck, there is no right answer on this one!

RalphS

I went to a very good public school outside Boston for K-10th grade [ranked 100th inthe country in some poll I saw], went to a private American school in london for 11 and 12.

I always thought public schools were the right way to go - more diversity, and it seemed like all my firend that left public to go to private schools did so because they weren't doing well in public school, so I had the silly idea that private schools were for dumb rich kids. Then I went to a private school and honestly the qualtiy of education was twice as good at least, and in college for the most part I thought the kids that went to the snotty private schools really had an advantage (not insurmountable, but an advantage).

The main difference for me was that in public school it was hideously uncool to be smart, even though my town literally had some 3 nobel prize winners and tons of kids had professional parents or harvard prfoessor parents. I was a jock on top of being a brain, so I was left alone, unlike some of my smaller brain friends, but it was a real energy drag to always feel like you were going out on a limb if you were too enthusiastic about something the class was doing, and the cliqueiness was awful. Then again, I'm sure I had a good dork vibe going, just fortunately I was a big fast dork. In the private school, it was cool to be smart and you had no anxiety about getting into shakespoeare or whatever you were into. And all my competitors in class were the same guys I was competing with in sports. I was co-athlete of the year, and the other guy was valeditorian and I was third

Having said that I'm planning to send my kids to a public school, and I paid an obsence amont for a basic house in a town with a great school system, partly because I think part of education is going to school with different kinds of people, but in my own experience, private school was better.

Originally Posted by Quick Orange

However, tops to me is homeschooling.

I have every belief in my own abilities. But Social interaction with a diverse group of people is invaluable too.
Friends of mine are kindergarten and first grade teachers.
On the fist day they can tell which kids stayed at home /with grandparents, and which kids had gone to daycare or daycare parents.

Kids that have had interaction with lots of other kids are way ahead of the rest in social aptitude and skills (younger kids learning from the old).
My kids went / go to daycare parents as babies. They like(d) ever day of it, and felt really good over there. The fact that there were 9 other kids to play with really was a benefit to them.

The same applies to homeschool.
My wife is a bachelor in chemistry, and I have a masters degree in electronics engineering. But even though we would successfully be able to teach our kids, they would miss the whole social development.
They wouldn't have to learn to interact with other people and to compromise
They wouldn't have to fight their own battles with outsiders
They wouldn't see the diveristy between people.

They have to learn to be independent, and that is not something that I associate with homeschooling.

looks like a lot of pluses and minuses of both got covered.
at the end it will depend on the specific situation - what are the concrete school options and what would be more beneficial to the kid.

growing up i didn't have the option of private school and the public school i went to was the one that i could walk to 10min. not a particularly good one i general, but as far as learning goes i could excel there under good and under bad teachers. at 7 grade i chose to go to the 'elite' school in town, even though my parents strongly preferred that i go to the trade school where my father went to. they let me do as i liked.

the kids in the better school were better, both intellectually and personallity-wise, although in my first month there i got one of my front teeth crooked in a fight (the only serious fight in all my schooling) with a bully 2 grades senior (he was really an exception to that school).

the only experience with private school i had was when the most spoiled of my friends in that elite school got sent after a year and a half to a private school - that just exacerbated his problems and he never got where he could've gotten to (he was quite smart).


personally i will never have my kids go to private school so that they can get properly indoctrinated. i feel that they must get their values from the family and i think a sheltered atmosphere is a disservice. to me it's more important that they end up well-rounded people, and not necessarily getting the best possible education. the parent's role goes only that far, the children are individuals and they are entitled to have regular life with their own struggles failures and successes.

i think kids being in average circumstances is a pretty good deal - then they can succeed with their own abilities. and yeah, i don't have kids, but i've seen my nieces and nephews grow up and the smart ones do better no matter what, and the ones with better families (supportive, but not overbearing) do better no matter what, as well. may be i'll feel different about my own kids wanting them to be successful, but at this point i don't think i want to provide them with any possible advantage. all of my close friends have become what they are despite, or may be because of various disadvantges.

I have been to private and public schools, as has my wife. All of the private schools we attended were protestant Christian types.

Compared to public school in my area (DFW) private schools are overpriced and offer a completely inferior educational experience. Your situation may be different. The public school system I was enrolled in was quite excellent, and the Christian school my wife attended was appalling. YMMV.

At the university level, I went to a Christian school and my wife attended the public school. While we both received a satisfactory educational experience, mine cost six times as much and I grew to hate all religion due to the constant harassment I received from other students who claimed to be the same religion as me but had different ideas.


I think it depends on the individual schools more than anything.

Originally Posted by Sue

As a child, did you attend a Private School that was Christian based? Or as a adult have you sent your child or grandchild to a Private School? I am looking for opinions both adverse and positive.

If you have any thoughts to share, I'd love to hear them.
Sue

I think it just depends on the school in question. There are some general qualities that are often associated with public or private, but I think such an important decision requires the schools in question to be evaluated individually. There are some private schools I would never send my kids to, and many public schools I would never send my kids to in the Tulsa area.

I myself am a product of small town Iowa public schools of the '50s through '65. This was a period when Iowa's education standing was very high.
My children attended public school in the Atlanta area for the first two years, then we moved to Tennessee. My wife was most distressed about the quality of public education in Tennessee, and I had moved to where the schools were very good (in the opinion of locals). My children finished their education in a private Christen school. Cost a bit (we received a volume discount), but two of my kids have thanked us, and the other received a much better education than he would have in public school.

My wife had more influence on my children than any school. Thank heavens.

They are well balanced happy and live rich fulfilling lives.

Originally Posted by Bruno

I have every belief in my own abilities. But Social interaction with a diverse group of people is invaluable too.
Friends of mine are kindergarten and first grade teachers.
On the fist day they can tell which kids stayed at home /with grandparents, and which kids had gone to daycare or daycare parents.

Kids that have had interaction with lots of other kids are way ahead of the rest in social aptitude and skills (younger kids learning from the old).
My kids went / go to daycare parents as babies. They like(d) ever day of it, and felt really good over there. The fact that there were 9 other kids to play with really was a benefit to them.

The same applies to homeschool.
My wife is a bachelor in chemistry, and I have a masters degree in electronics engineering. But even though we would successfully be able to teach our kids, they would miss the whole social development.
They wouldn't have to learn to interact with other people and to compromise
They wouldn't have to fight their own battles with outsiders
They wouldn't see the diveristy between people.

They have to learn to be independent, and that is not something that I associate with homeschooling.

I think you're blowing it a little out of proportion. Hypothetically speaking, if you homeschooled your children, would you just keep them locked inside to do school work all the time? Of course you wouldn't. Besides what I would assume to be a very thorough curriculum from education to social studies, I should think that they would be interested in some sort of sports activity- and that would be bare minimum. I'm not trying to convince everyone that public and private schools are evil. In fact, homeschooling is certainly not for everyone. Just don't let social stigmas overshadow the facts.

Anywho...off the soapbox. Sorry for the thread jack

What are my thoughts on private schools?