Thread: Do you open doors?

Originally Posted by VeeDubb65

Well this is an interesting turn in the conversation.

If you do the right thing for the wrong reasons, are you still doing the right thing?

And at what point does it become the right thing to do regardless of motivation.

At one end, if we say for the sake of argument that it's wrong to open doors for people if you're doing it for selfish motivations, how far do we carry that conclusion?

If you dive into a river to save a drowning child, but all you can think about is how this will get you in the news and make everybody treat you like a hero, is that not still the right thing to do?

So, the question becomes, when does the significance of the thing, outweigh doing it for the wrong reasons?

golly I thought that was the question all along

EDIT
deleted a rather flippant answer
but have no time to provide one of quality

I open doors for people for selfish reasons. The reasons involve wanting to live in a nicer society and so the idea is that if I do my part to make it so, maybe it'll happen faster. I am especially selfishly opening and holding doors for older people and people with babies or packages.

I got winked at by a dude for whom I held the door open because his hands were full of coffees and pastries. I felt especially selfish and kind of cute when that happened.

Yes, it's nice when the door is held for me, too. I dig it.

Originally Posted by gratewhitehuntr

golly I thought that was the question all along

Well, I guess I really didn't follow through with what I was thinking there. What I was trying to imply, is that to me, the right thing to do is the right thing to do.

The mother of the drowning child would be no less grateful because the hero did it to be a hero.

I think the only exception to this would be if a person makes an issue of his motivations.

What I mean by that, is that if I open a door for someone, it would be unreasonable for them to question my motives or assume that I did it for self serving reasons unless they knew me to be that sort of person, or I did something to be a jerk, like sarcastically shouting, "you're welcome" when they fail to say thank you. Making an issue of it counters the good deed.

However, that's the more literal part of my post. At some point, the good deed becomes so great, i.e. saving a life, that it outweighs somebody being a jerk about it. I'm just curious at what point people think that happens.

I really don't think this is a gender issue, it's about how you were raised. I was always told it's polite to hold doors open for others to go through, no matter what their age or sex.

Yes there are those out there who are generally rude and even obnoxious at times, but it doesn't stop me from doing it. It has become a habit over the years and I don't even think about it when I am holding a door open.

Regardless of whether I get a thank you or not I always say "You're welcome", it's just a tone difference. If people say thank you they get a big smile with it, if not it's harsher and louder with possibly a raised eyebrow from me at their rudeness.

In the same respect I don't expect anyone to hold a door open for me. It is nice when people do it and I always give a smile and a thank you, but I don't EXPECT it.

I know we are all raised differently but manners were still free the last time I checked and it would be nice if more people used them. I agree with Vee that the right thing to do is the right thing to do no matter what the motivation behind it.

G'day all,
I open doors for females, and if wearing a hat tip my brim to them. Open car doors and seat them at resteraunts and sometimes at home to. I walk on the outside, much to my partners annoyance as she reckons I am herding her. and she tells me they no longer empty chamberpots into the street from the top story of homes. I just like to keep my gunhand free. I guess a few niceties help smooth the way. I don't recall being abused by anyone for holding the door, my late father was a product of the Edwadian age and he hammered manners into us boys. I do agree about not making a show of it.

Cheers

Gordon