Thread: Are you a manly man or a girly man?

Originally Posted by Disburden

I say what I want to say. She likes it that way.

And if she didn't?

A picture says more than 1000 words:

I chose the 3rd option as there is a time and a place to say exactly what one has on one's mind to one's spouse, and that time and that place is not anytime and everywhere!

Well, I thought this would be more of a joke thread with the odd serious answer here and there. I am pleasantly surprised with the responses thus far. For the most part they have been rather thoughtful.

Originally Posted by BeBerlin

A picture says more than 1000 words:

Excellent!

Jordan

Great poll Mark - I chose number 3 as well.

I speak my mind on important issues with my wife. Plus we joke around a lot. She has a great sense of humour on some things, but on others not so much - she is one of the last of the overtly feminist generation in Australia, so she is easy to tease, but only to a point....and I find that boundary on a regular basis....

Let's just say I am an expert house cleaner and I know how to separate whites from colours. I am also approaching gourmet chef status and now have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the various shades of purple and aubergine. I consider soap scum the bane of modern life.

And, God help me, I now give genuine answers, and a detailed critique and helpful advice, when asked "How do I look in this?"...

James.

Originally Posted by Jimbo

Great poll Mark - I chose number 3 as well.

I speak my mind on important issues with my wife. Plus we joke around a lot. She has a great sense of humour on some things, but on others not so much - she is one of the last of the overtly feminist generation in Australia, so she is easy to tease, but only to a point....and I find that boundary on a regular basis....

Let's just say I am an expert house cleaner and I know how to separate whites from colours. I am also approaching gourmet chef status and now have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the various shades of purple and aubergine. I consider soap scum the bane of modern life.

And, God help me, I now give genuine answers, and a detailed critique and helpful advice, when asked "How do I look in this?"...

James.

My wife is rolling on the ground laughing as I type

I speak my mind to her and she to me. We have done the long distance thing before in our relationship (6.5 years of dating and as much as 3300 miles in that time with a minimum of 250 miles between us). We learned this:

1. There are actually three conversations going on at once between us: what is being said, what is being intended by the previously said, what is being understood by the previously said.
2. She doesn't know how I am feeling unless I tell her and vice versa
3. She doesn't know my intention unless I tell her and vice versa.
4. We don't intend to say hurtful things to one another so when we are hurt, we ask for clarity.

This seems to work for us but it takes two people understanding the process and might not be for everyone. Also, it can be pretty hard to remember if emotions are running high, but with practice we both realize when we are getting off the process we have designed.

With out this understanding, we never would have lasted all that time apart.
-Rob

Whein she says "jump", I ask, "how high"?

When I say "jump" she says, "Go ahead."

On a more serious note, it is most often none of the above. We generally arrive at a conclusion in a reasoned discussion. My wife is a very intelligent woman and I would be a fool to override her without due consideration.

My problem is that I don't see a single answer in that poll that would amount to being a "manly man" in my book.

As far as I'm concerned, the first 3 responses all amount to being a weak willed, feminized, metro-man; and the fourth answer amounts to being a jerk.

How about, "I say what needs to be said WITHOUT loosing my balls because I say it with good manners and stay mindful of the consequences of what I say."


I can't speak to the state of society in other countries, but I think one of the biggest problems facing Americans isn't the economy, or world politics, or swine flu. I think one of the biggest problems is the loss of gender identity.

Women and men are not the same thing.

Never were.

Never will be.

Can't be.

Shouldn't be.

I'm not saying that women don't deserve equal pay for equal work, or that they shouldn't be allowed to vote, or that women are supposed to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, but we've so masculinized women in this country, and so feminized men, that when a woman WANTS to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, and marries a man who WANTS a barefoot pregnant wife in his kitchen, society actually looks down on them. They are considered strange, and people make Stepford references.

If you want to be a manly man where your SO is concerned, say what needs to be said, like a man, but say it like you're speaking to a lady. There's no reason that saying what you want has to mean losing your balls or ignoring consequences.