Thread: Slept through 55 tattoos???? - The plot thickens

Originally Posted by jockeys

I guess it all boils down to your view of such things. agree to disagree, I guess. to me it's odd that her father would be actively involved AT ALL in her life at that age, other than the odd xmas card or birthday phone call. but, to each their own.

Just because she's 18 doesn't mean she's not your daughter anymore. Simple as that. She can make all the choices she wants, get gangbanged, get a full body tattoo jump off a building on a piece of string.

But whenever possible....you want to support her. My parents are a big part of my life. They still are. They didn't fade away once I turned eighteen. And I'll do everything I can do make sure that my own little family stays that tight. Having a strenth that I think we need in these times (or any times really).

The debate about the father's responsibility or lack thereof, has been a really interesting one to watch, because from the outside, it reads as though the two sides are having two completely different arguments.


That being said, I agree with LX.

The father was not required to go to the tattoo parlor, but he went.

The father was not required to approve of his daughter's tattoo, but he gave his opinions, and the daughter took them to heart obviously.

The father was not required to be involved in his daughter's life in any way now that she is an adult, but he clearly is involved.

So, he is involved, she cares about his involvement and opinion, he did go with her for the big occasion of getting her first tattoo done, and then he skivved off for a beer 2 minutes into the process. That makes him an jerk.


Also, a big +1 to this comment:

Originally Posted by LX_Emergency

My parents are a big part of my life. They still are. They didn't fade away once I turned eighteen. And I'll do everything I can do make sure that my own little family stays that tight.

My parents are also still a big part of my life. I spend time with my parents regularly. (Lunches and dinners when I can, phone calls, etc)

I care about my parents' opinions, and seek their guidance when I have hard decisions to make because no matter how old I get, between the two of them, they'll always have 66 years worth of experience more than me.

That doesn't mean my parents control my life. I'm a grown up like most everyone else here, and seeing as I've been married, divorced, gone to college, have day job with enormous responsibility and my own side business, it's safe to say I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions. It's simply a matter of filial piety, and having enough humility to recognize the wisdom that comes with age.

I find the notion that all family ties beyond holiday greetings should be dissolved on a person's 18th birthday to be abhorrent. To me, that only makes sense if either the 18 year old, or their parents, are monstrously terrible people.

Originally Posted by LX_Emergency

But whenever possible....you want to support her. My parents are a big part of my life. They still are. They didn't fade away once I turned eighteen. And I'll do everything I can do make sure that my own little family stays that tight. Having a strenth that I think we need in these times (or any times really).

I wonder if this is a cultural difference. In the demographic and geographic circles I run in, it's pretty common for the opposite to happen. Curious. I wonder if it's a European thing, a class thing, or a religious thing. Very curious.

I'd say its not too exceptional over here.

Cultural I think.
Also, if kids go to uni or college, they usually live near the college during the week, and commute home for the weekend because the distance is not too great. Even when kids go to college, they remain part of the family life, and the family bonds remain fairly tight.

This is on average of course. There are exceptions in both directions, but this is the general way of life here.

I understand that in the US, with the distances involved, this would be highly impractical, so it is probably normal for kids to go to college / uni and only come back during breaks or for special occasions.

Once I went to college, I more or less stayed at college (home was almost 100 miles away- about an hour drive). I still spoke with the parents though on a bi-weekly basis. I'm not dependent on their approval or their being around, but I like to get their opinion from time to time. They're also the people that raised me. Seems to me that the only people you should do your most to keep around are your family (assuming they're good family). Friends come and go...

If I told my dad I was about to do something and he told me it didn't sound like a good idea, I'd at least re-think it. Had I done something like what this girl did, he wouldn't try to pass the blame to anyone. Instead, he would tell me it's the choice that I made and it's time to move on.

Kimberley has been admitted to the psych ward for a minimum of 2 weeks. I could find no further details.

I really dont hink that societies way of handling it is the problem, altho i understand social suicide is kind of true because of other peoples predjudice and how they will treat her. But the problem really lies in her inability to transcend the BS that other people have in their minds. Maybe these tats will teach her that, maybe not. However if that lesson was learned from them it is definitly one of the more valuable life lessons and would make it well worth it.
Caring what other people think about things makes up a HUGE percentage of the neroisis in the minds of people on earth.

Some may think that those tats are not attractive, but what really is attractive is someone who has learned to truely transcend things so trivial as markings or body identification.
I would say if she wasnt reacting to other peoples insecurities with her own it wouldnt activate those insecurities in both parties as much. In which case although she may be excluded from some things because of hyper predjudice people, I would say someone who handles themselves well and knows how to handle others insecurities could bypass many of the percived problems. They are after all only problems in the perception of people.

That said, I think they look pretty good, the only thing that didnt look good was the look on her face complaining about it.

Originally Posted by Bruno

Kimberley has been admitted to the psych ward for a minimum of 2 weeks. I could find no further details.

That sounds suspiciously like a reaction to a suicide attempt...I've seen a couple of those. Of course, Belgium might be different, but two weeks? Not trivial...but not long enough for a serious psychotic episode or total breakdown.