Thread: contentedness

Whilst I was shaving today, I was thinking about what makes people content.

It's quite a difficult question for me to answer, and I'm tying my self in knots trying to write and answer.

I think, for now, I will say I am someone who is easily contented. Once I have settled into something, it will always make me happy. The same foods, the same drinks, my motorcycle, my razors etc etc.

For some people, it seems they never settle. Does that mean they are not really sure what they are looking for? Or that change it's self makes them content? I guess that would depend on what drives them to change.

It's all a bit deep, but I'd like your thoughts!

I like change a lot. Girlfriend gets a haircut and changes her haircolor? YES! New girlfriend!

I like new razors, new soaps, new creams, trying new things. I like new cars, trying new beers, scotches, wines, visiting new places, trying new foods from new ethnicities that I hadn't tried before.

It's the pursuit that makes me happy!

Originally Posted by Oglethorpe

I like change a lot. Girlfriend gets a haircut and changes her haircolor? YES! New girlfriend!

I like new razors, new soaps, new creams, trying new things. I like new cars, trying new beers, scotches, wines, visiting new places, trying new foods from new ethnicities that I hadn't tried before.

It's the pursuit that makes me happy!

Exactly! my g/f just went back to her natural color and man it was awsome. i am definitely someone who is always looking to try something new, but i will admit that a lot of the new things i do are very minor, though not to me. basically i don 't change my job constantly or have any plans to look for a new g/f (mine is amazing) but i love to build things that i have never built before, or take things apart that i have never seen the insides of. i have always been like this though. being content can be so many different things for me that it makes it really hard to describe, but i know when i have it, thats for sure.

I don't think of contented as being the same as happy. To me contented just means everythink is OK kind of mediocre and there are no problems. Its kind of like buying a new car and getting a Chevy when you wanted a cadillac. The Chevy is OK, your contented with it but you would be happy with the cadillac.

To be truly happy means everything is going great. The way you feel when you buy that new two band Plisson brush and a new Livi razor with ivory scales.

Originally Posted by thebigspendur

I don't think of contented as being the same as happy. To me contented just means everythink is OK kind of mediocre and there are no problems. Its kind of like buying a new car and getting a Chevy when you wanted a cadillac. The Chevy is OK, your contented with it but you would be happy with the cadillac.

To be truly happy means everything is going great. The way you feel when you buy that new two band Plisson brush and a new Livi razor with ivory scales.

That's how I feel about being content. Content is just another word for "good enough".

I'm content when I have minimal worries. The bills are paid, I don't fear for my wife's safety, I've got a job. It approaches happiness, but it's certainly in the contented range.

Originally Posted by Quick Orange

That's how I feel about being content. Content is just another word for "good enough".

I don't really agree with that. To me, content is being happy with what you have. To be able to sit down at the end of the day and be satisfied with what you have, not wanting the 'better' anything.

You don't need to be content to be happy, but I think I would need to be happy to be content.

The answers so far don't surprise me, though.

Originally Posted by gregs656

I don't really agree with that. To me, content is being happy with what you have. To be able to sit down at the end of the day and be satisfied with what you have, not wanting the 'better' anything.

You don't need to be content to be happy, but I think I would need to be happy to be content.

The answers so far don't surprise me, though.

As it seems we so often do, agree to disagree. It's all semantics really.

I view happiness like Maslow did. We have a hierarchy of needs, with the most basic of needs at the bottom, moving on up to complex needs that will ultimately end up in what I see as being true happiness.

Contentedness is below happiness in my opinion because happiness is the idea that nothing could be better in any significant fashion. You've got the Livi, you donate a bunch of time and money to charity, you coach your kid's little league team, your job is the best in the world to you.

Contentedness, on the other hand, means that what you have could be significantly better, but at its current state, you're fine. As an example, I'm currently just above poverty level for the US. I was unemployed for several months after graduating from university and living off of savings. I now work a job that doesn't take a high school education, live in a tiny apartment, and am generally struggling. Yet I'm content with it. I live within view of the Rockies, enjoy a cheap cigar on my minuscule porch occasionally, and share it all with the love of my life. Things could be far better, and you better believe I'm working hard to make them that way. However, I don't really complain- which is indicative of being content- I just enjoy what I've got.

So, based on that, you can be content without being happy, but you can't be happy without being content.

In Today's world, so many people are unhappy, because they never learned how to be content.

Good thread, this got me thinking. THere's definitely a degree of semantics here. You say tom-ay-to etc.

I believe one can be content and still strive for more.
I believe one can be happy and still strive for more.

On the surface, not much difference then. So I got to thinking, am I happy or content, or both?

I've concluded that happiness is often used to describe specific occurrences, but contentedness is applied more generally and probably covers a longer timeframe.

E.g. I'm happy that Manchester Utd ground out a win against Besiktas in Turkey last night.
It makes me happy to see my children play.
My wife makes me happy (mostly ;-).
But...
I am contented with my life but will continue to improve it.
I am contented with my life (and look forward to more happiness).

Content or happy, I don't think that's really the issue. The OP suggested how some people never seem content with life, whilst others seem fulfilled by relatively little. I know people who seemingly should have nothing to complain about yet are neither contented nor happy, and others who suffer hardships appear to go through life always with smile. SOme of that must be genetic, and much of it experiential.

Originally Posted by majurey

I've concluded that happiness is often used to describe specific occurrences, but contentedness is applied more generally and probably covers a longer timeframe.

agreed.

There should be something, I think, about knowing the true value of something to you, and not focusing in on the monetary value of things.

I guess not falling foul of 'the grass is always greener' is key to being content. QO listed a bunch of ideals (for him), 'nothing could be better in any significant fashion' and yet nothing was mentioned about quality of life, or state of mind, relationships etc.

Being able to appreciate that a change of circumstance, for 'better' or 'worse' (on the face of it) simply brings a different set of challenges, and, actually, change for the 'worse' might actually work out as a change for the better. Is, I think, something very important and something largely ignored in our culture.

Perhaps this is why I would list my self as content, life could be different, but who knows if it could be any better?