The most important thread of 2009

[singlewedge]

Actually not to digress but it is interesting from a sociopsychological standpoint.

[ControlFreak1]

Ummm ..... ok ..... Ivan ..... we need to get you some help. And that damned Jimbo stole my thunder. I was going to recommend that you get a bidet, but they will probly end up being listed as some sort of scurge to the environment before long, and you better enjoy your precious luxury TP while you can because one of the new 'Czars' seriously wants to do away with it in case you haven't heard, that will probly be the straw that breaks the camels back, can't you just see it in the future history books how after all of the crap that Americans have gradually been oppressed by that the luxury TP ban was the bridge too far.

[Seraphim]

I did on outdoor course back in my younger days: NOLS. We spent 3 months in the great outdoors, hiking, camping, climbing, rafting.

When hinking through the canyonlands, the preferred TP of choice was a nice oblong rock, that had been smoothed by the river. Cool, smooth, with just enough grit (maybe 1200, for the good ones) to get the job done.


EDIT:
and I'm with Oglethorpe. I'm too cheap to get the "fancy" embossed TP, I get the plain flat stuff at home.

[JimmyHAD]

Smooth rocks would probably be hard to flush. In my hippie vagabond days in the '60s the pages of telephone books were very handy. Not the most absorbent but any port in a storm. Newspaper as well.

[Yorkie]

Haven't you uncivilised heathens heard of bidets?

James.

You mean footwashers?

..no one use the medicated tracing paper stuff, you know - all it does is smooth the crap over your bum without absorbing a single bit... I suppose you then leave it to air and it just flakes off in it's own good time - very green in these eco times.

What you could also use in an emergency is a bus ticket.. Fold it in four then tear the corner bit off to leave a hole in the centre of the ticket. Remember to keep the bit you've torn off it's very important.
You then put your finger through the hole and then pick your bum wit it. The very important corner bit you've hopefully saved is then used to pick the crap from underneath your fingernails.

[JimmyHAD]

Should this thread be made a sticky ? (pun intended)

[majurey]

We had a heinously bad type of TP at school... that old-fashioned stuff that was rough as sandpaper on one side and laminated -- YES! laminated!! -- on the other. Either way you'd lose. Rip yourself to ribbons, or just end up spreading it around.

This was at boarding school in the 70s. We were told it was character-building.

[sparq]

Is not it interesting to see how serious we are even if the subject is sh*te?

[Yorkie]

We didn't use toilet paper in the same way as everyone else - we used to eat it as part of our dinner that way when you went to the loo and had a number two - the toilet paper cleaned you from the inside out without needing to tuch your bum. Sometimes we'd eat sandwich bags as well, which meant we could have a dump anywhere and it came out ready sealed so you could just pop it in the nearest doggy bin.

[Navaja]

Newspaper, cheap and educational