Here's a thread thats likely to go nowhere

[JMS]

There are some of us who still view and intend the word "love" with a heavy meaning. Despite all of my other flexibilities and shades of gray, I do. If I tell someone I love them, that is a thing of gravity. And I don't particularly like to be in relationships with people who don't feel the same.

As it should be.

[JMS]

I think what you are actually talking about, Mark, is maturity.

To me, love is maturity...the ultimate in maturity if you will

[BingoBango]

This is a tricky one, and I think you guys and girls () make good points, but I disagree with a bunch of them. I agree that there is some balance between irrational emotion and a type of reasoning/wisdom thats forms a sustainable relationship, but that balance is present everywhere, so it doesn't do much to define love. To define love in terms of a formal relationship also doesn't work and eliminates love outside of the relationship. (A relationship that only exists in a legal/religious/societal context, by the way.) And while love may seem to be "patient, loyal, etc." that's not it's definition either - those are its effects on lovers.

I define love as the connection to the emotional reactions of the loved person. It's a greater type of empathy - you are fully bound to their emotions. The ability to be deeply moved by someone else's experiences will direct your own actions towards those that produce beneficial emotions in yourself, and in this sense it is selfish. But it is an emotion - not a (conscious) rationality - and so actions are not made with your own benefit as the primary objective. Instead, this connection causes you to interact with this person or on behalf of this person as you would for yourself, but not for an overt selfish reason. The benefit to yourself is only concurrent and reinforces the connection.

The depth and uniformity of the connection is the guide that determines if it is love or something less.

To be love, it needs to be uniform across the range of emotions Only attempting to initiate happiness in another person is not love - that's being gratified by success - we do that whenever we tip the delivery guy or tell the receptionist she looks nice today. Avoiding pain for another person is not love - that's public service - cops and doctors do it all the time, but they don't send flowers on their patients' birthdays or take them on dates.

FYI - If anyone's really interested, check out the Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle. He talks a lot about love, friendship, happiness and virtue and how these interrelate.

[JimmyHAD]

But the greatest love--the love above all loves,
Even greater than that of a mother...
Is the tender, passionate, undying love,
Of one beer drunken slob for another.
--Irish love ballad

There is a thin red line between love and hate.

James Jones ; The Thin Red Line

[CarrieM]

True love, or enduring love is a commitment. It's a decision that each person makes for themselves that they want to stay with the person they are with for the long haul. Knowing that not everything will be easy. Accepting that person for who they, not what they do for you. It's a promise to be there for the other person in good times and bad, and to work through issues instead of handing out paperwork...

Emotions/feeling/hormones ect. have their highs and lows. and some days you may really not like the person, but in the long run, you know your life is better for having that other person in it and you wouldn't change a thing.

[Obie]

Ladies and gentlemen:

Let me give my answer to this profound question this way:

"But you look at other beautiful women."
"Yes, I do."
"Why?"
"Because I admire their beauty."
"And mine?"
"Yours I worship — inside and out."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Do you love me?"
"Yes, I do."
"How much?"
"I love you more than my own life."

Regards,

Obie

[Seraphim]

My son told me just the other day, and I quote:

I love you higher than outer space!

[JimmyHAD]

My love bigger than a Cadillac
I try to show it and you're drivin' me back
Your love for me has got to be real
For you to know just how I feel
Love is real and not fade away
Well love is real and not fade away

Rolling Stones version of Not Fade Away, a Buddy Holly tune

[rickboone]

I wanna know what love is....I want you to show me....

I love straight razor shaving.
Love in the English language is well....I don't know. Other languages have better words to describe. I think the word is a bit overused and loses meaning. I hear couples say it ten times a day very robotic like and almost as uniform as saying "hello" when the phone rings. Very programmed and no feeling. You love your spouse and would do anything for her. You love your kids and would die for them. You love chocolate cake and you would....just eat it is all. But you used the same word to describe how you felt about your family.

[JimmyHAD]

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce