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  1. 02-23-2010, 01:22 PM #1
    AlanII
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    Thoroughly amusing.
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  2. 02-23-2010, 02:55 PM #2
    aroliver59
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    "A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown f*cking toenail. Stop bitching."

    “Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You pee a rock through your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the f*cking back."

    "I don't need more friends. You got friends and all they do is ask you to help them move. F*ck that. I'm old. I'm through moving shit."

    "Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

    "Does anyone your age know how to comb their f*cking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on your head and started f*cking."


    Haa,Haaa,I love crotchety,witty,old people who say what they think.
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  3. 02-23-2010, 03:47 PM #3
    Rmaldon240
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    "We’re out of Grape Nuts … No, what’s left is for me. Sorry, I should have said ‘You’re out of Grape Nuts.’"




    Great stuff. Very funny.
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  4. 02-23-2010, 03:56 PM #4
    smokelaw1
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    1. "No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist." 10:14 AM Jan 19th via web
    "Fine, let’s take a vote. Who wants fish for dinner?...Yeah, democracy ain’t so fun when it ****s you, huh?” 12:04 PM Dec 20th, 2009 via web

    "It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works." 4:59 PM Nov 30th, 2009 via web


    I have to stop. I have a meeting in 5 mintues and I'm laughing so hard tears are rolling down my face.
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  5. 02-23-2010, 04:34 PM #5
    gregs656
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    diamond, absolutely fantastic stuff
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  6. 02-23-2010, 05:19 PM #6
    Neil Miller
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    Made my day - fantastic stuff, thanks!
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  7. 02-23-2010, 11:10 PM #7
    dannywonderful
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    Been following him since he started tweeting. It's now been optioned for a TV series with William Shatner being touted as the dad.
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