Thread: Sh*t My Dad Says

I know nothing about most of the social sites on the internet, but, recently a friend of mine sent me a note with a link and told me I had to check it out...hilarious stuff, etc. The background is a 29 year old man, who lives with his 74 year old father, who, has quite a wit...the son just writes down everything that comes out of the old fellow mouth and puts it on this site...If you want a laugh, check it out

Justin (shitmydadsays) on Twitter

That is truly entertaining. Thanks.

"I turn the kitchen faucet on and the shower burns you, yes, I get it...No, I'm not gonna stop, I'm just saying yes, I get that concept."

'You don't know ****, and you're not ****. Don't take that the wrong way, that was meant to cheer you up."

"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."

"It's watering plants, Justin. You just take a God ****** hose and you put it over the plant. You don't even pay rent, just do it. ****."

Thoroughly amusing.

"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown f*cking toenail. Stop bitching."

“Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You pee a rock through your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the f*cking back."

"I don't need more friends. You got friends and all they do is ask you to help them move. F*ck that. I'm old. I'm through moving shit."

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

"Does anyone your age know how to comb their f*cking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on your head and started f*cking."


Haa,Haaa,I love crotchety,witty,old people who say what they think.

"We’re out of Grape Nuts … No, what’s left is for me. Sorry, I should have said ‘You’re out of Grape Nuts.’"




Great stuff. Very funny.

1. "No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist." 10:14 AM Jan 19th via web

"Fine, let’s take a vote. Who wants fish for dinner?...Yeah, democracy ain’t so fun when it ****s you, huh?” 12:04 PM Dec 20th, 2009 via web

"It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works." 4:59 PM Nov 30th, 2009 via web


I have to stop. I have a meeting in 5 mintues and I'm laughing so hard tears are rolling down my face.

diamond, absolutely fantastic stuff

Made my day - fantastic stuff, thanks!

Been following him since he started tweeting. It's now been optioned for a TV series with William Shatner being touted as the dad.