Thread: This seriously depresses me.

Around 6 pm yesterday I went out to pick up a bale of Bermuda grass for my goats. I stopped by the local Circle K to get a cup of coffee and as I turn to put half & half in my cup I spot a very nice looking lady in her early twenties. This is the same lady I saw walking into the store just ahead of me. At the time I saw her originally I thought to myself,"Nice looking lady. Well dressed or rather at least neat in appearance. Takes care of herself." . Now, this time, my second meeting with this lovely lady, I watch her open up her rather large purse and slip a two liter bottle of 7up into the purse. Seconds later she spots me looking. The look on her face says it all. She stares at me half embarrassed and half defiant. I say to her, "go ahead and put it back now.". She appears dumbfounded by my response and stares for about 10 seconds in disbelief. Finally she puts the bottle back, then picks it back up and purchases the bottle. I was glad at first but on my way home I found myself looking at all the pedestrians wondering to myself,"Is he a thief? Did she just steal that candy bar she is eating? How about that man. Is he a killer"?

Anyways, rather depressing. I am only consoled by the fact that I know not everyone is like this, but it does beg the question. How many more are willing to steal and cheat for their own ends rather than live honestly and truthfully?

That teaches us all a lesson. Never judge a book by its cover. The lady looks respectable, well kept. She doesn't look like a thief. But, how does a thief look? We can't help but have pre-set impressions; perhaps not so much of a criminal but rather innocence.

I worked in law enforcement for about 5 years. It was before marriage and kids. One of the largest drug busts our county did at the time I was in there on the front seat sat a Bible. That's always stuck with me.

There are countless other stories about not so innocent old ladies and such. You just never know.

I do congratulate you for having the balls to tell her to put it back and to not allow someone to steal from your community! That's doggone awesome right there. Don't put up with this crap in your community. They're stealing from you.

I think it is easy- and desireable- to think that thieves and saints are mutually exclusive; an either/or distinction that we can clearly separate. The reality, however, is that perhaps it can be both/and: Both a saint and a sinner. It's hard, because it means we have to recognize the potential for evil within ourselves, and that can make it pretty disenchanting. Can a man be both a Christian and a drug lord? A philanderer and a great father? I like to think so, even when it challenges my desire to see it as black and white. YMMV

Mark, It may be helpful to know that if you had the exact(exact) experiences and pain as she- you would do the same as she or any other.

At first you looked at her in judgment. You made many assumptions based on what you saw; of who she was and how she should behave.

But being a spiritual person I believe you know that on the deepest level she and we all come from the same source. So when you were looking at her again just perhaps there was no more any judgment in your mind and your words came from that place. There was only a peaceful statement of -do what is right

Consider what happened: at first she put it back. Maybe in her mind she was imagining going to another store to steal. But then she took the bottle and paid for it.

It is quite possible that your contact has stirred something up which may send her to the help she needs

It's not theft until they leave the store. Maybe she was just using her large purse to carry those large bottles. :P

I agree with what Kevin said you just may have maid a huge difference in that individuals life. I can personally think of times when the smallest positive interaction or push in the right direction has made a huge difference in my life.
In fact our first interaction here on SRP helped pick up my spirits and made it easier for me to get through that day. From my experience you are a truly a good person.
So take comfort in that.

Originally Posted by kevint

Mark, It may be helpful to know that if you had the exact(exact) experiences and pain as she- you would do the same as she or any other.

With the exception of the quote above Kevin, I think you, along with everyone else made some great points. As for the above quote, I don't believe it for a second. While our surroundings, our experiences, our pain, and what we were taught while growing up have a very strong and in many cases an unshakable influence over us. We don't need to be controlled by it, instead we should strive to be controlled from within which I believe we all could achieve.

Originally Posted by JMS

While our surroundings, our experiences, our pain, and what we were taught while growing up have a very strong and in many cases an unshakable influence over us. We don't need to be controlled by it, instead we should strive to be controlled from within which I believe we all could achieve.

Hey Mark, don't let that depression control you, go on fight it from within, you can achieve victory .
Personally I'd like to fight that full stop (or 'period' in colonial speak) between the two 'sentences'.

Goat luck!

Originally Posted by JMS

With the exception of the quote above Kevin, I think you, along with everyone else made some great points. As for the above quote, I don't believe it for a second. While our surroundings, our experiences, our pain, and what we were taught while growing up have a very strong and in many cases an unshakable influence over us. We don't need to be controlled by it, instead we should strive to be controlled from within which I believe we all could achieve.

Alternatively you may have reacted from a sense of superior moral certainty and merely scared her and she thought you'd narc on her so she put it away. Then thinking "I don't have time" She went ahead and paid for it.

edited to add: this is not a reaction from your disagreeing with my pov it is just another possibility. depends on where you were "at" when you spoke to her

I actually think there are a suprising number of people who would take something like that if they had the chance, just because in their mind its a small item, not worth much and therefore its "not really stealing".

I remember when I worked in an off licence and a business man, who pulled up in a Jaguar and wore an expensive suit, swiped a single can of beer out of the fridge on his way out. I told him to put it back as well, with much the same reaction, but the point is that he felt he could get away with it and it was only a little thing, so who's going to care?

I'd bet pennies to pounds that if I'd asked the same guy if auto-theft was Ok he'd have looked at me shocked and said of course not.