Thread: Qualifications for parents

Originally Posted by NYCshaver

You think a gay or lesbian child being told their religion doesn't accept them wouldn't mentally harm them?

Not in the way you want it to. Most do not take religion as serious as most would like and it is common knowledge that most religions are against gay and lesbian relationships, it has yet to mentally harm anyone that I have seen.

Do you know anyone that is gay that is receiving psychological help because of a religious thing?

Originally Posted by goaT

Should foster parents be allowed to teach their children not to trust black people? Or maybe that women were created by Gawd to serve man?

As a Roman Catholic myself, I recognize the difference between the religious and political realms. I think the judge may have had GoaT's point above in mind. While I'm not sure where the line should be drawn, I do know there is a line.

What I disagree with is the statement in the article made by the government representative something to the effect that ... “The council said: ‘Do you know, you would have to tell them that it’s OK to be homosexual?’ ... I believe that would fly in the face of religious freedom (akin to requiring a Roman Catholic instutution to offer abortion coverage in their health insurance policy ... see case against Belmont Abbey College in the U.S.).

I wouldn't have nearly as much problem having the parents avoid any "lessons on homosexuality", but having them explicitly teach that homosexuality is OK against their religious beliefs does seem to be wrong, and would preclude them from adopting based on their religious beliefs. But, to GoaT's point, I wouldn't want anarchists or Nazi's allowed to adopt ... so where's the line ... I don't know, but I think this issue lives close to the line, and therefore it's controversy.

I do recognize that the state does have a role in determining where the line is drawn, but not sure that this has a nice clean answer.

I think the facts of the case would have to bear on a decision ... e.g., has the child already identifed themselves as homosexual? How would the parents handle such a revelation? etc.

The one point made by a person who commented in response to the article is VERY important here, I think ... that our cultures are evolving to a point where "civil tolerance trumps personal morality every time". This is SO central to the erosion of our societies. I cannot go to a football game without the "F" bomb exploding all over the place, and if you courteously request that language be moderated on behalf of your minor children and wife, you are acosted as intolerant. So we have to be tolerant of any choice a person makes unless it is expressly unlawful. We have lost all sense of what is right and wrong other than what our government decides is lawful and unlawful.

If you want to know where common courtesy and civil behavior went, this explains it. Society once shunned adults who used foul language in public, and now we seem to ignore it when our children do it. We don't want to stigmatize unmarried children who give birth, so now it's OK (maybe ill-advised) ... so no wonder our children are having children ... everyone's doing it, and there is no stigma attached to it. I am not condoning a Spanish Inquisition mentality, but I think society at large has lost it's ability to influence the individual in any moral fashion other than "if it feels good, do it". There is no consideration of the common good, when in conflict with personal choice ... no matter how assinine or harmful the personal choice. Neighbors used to look out for, and correct their neighbor's children. Children used to at least "show" respect to teachers and adults. Anyway ... I don't know what the answer is, other than good people making tough decisions based on ethical values.

Sorry about the extended rant.

Originally Posted by TSasser

Not in the way you want it to. Most do not take religion as serious as most would like

Huh? Most want to take religion serious but they don't?
Religion is pretty serious here in the USA.

Originally Posted by TSasser

and it is common knowledge that most religions are against gay and lesbian relationships, it has yet to mentally harm anyone that I have seen.

Are you serious? Parents have disowned their children when they find out they are gay. You don't think that would mentally harm someone?

Originally Posted by TSasser

Do you know anyone that is gay that is receiving psychological help because of a religious thing?

Ted Haggard

Originally Posted by NYCshaver

You think a gay or lesbian child being told their religion doesn't accept them wouldn't mentally harm them?

I suspect that when many of us were children we wouldn't have understood exactly what the word homosexual meant. I don't recall knowing what a lesbian was until I was into my teens. Of course the word gay meant something else altogether.
I think that these days kids of all persuasions not being helped by seeing and finding out all kinds of things at an age when they should be enjoying their childhood years.

I think part of the question comes in at what are the implications of the decision.
If you're not considered "fit" to be a foster parent, then is it much of a stretch to say you're not "fit" to be a natural parent?

Why would a particular teaching be ok for natural children and not adopted or foster children?

This could be any number of "hot" topics.

As "logical extremes" what if

A) you were judged an un-fit parent because you own guns, and therefore "promote violence"

B) you were judged unfit because you woud encourage your child to practice abstinance rather than use contraception

etc.

Seems to me that we are presented with state sponsored discrimination based upon a religious belief. For those of you defending the discrimination against these foster parents, how would you react if the were discriminated against because they were black, because they were hispanic, because they were muslim, because they were buddhist?

Originally Posted by mhailey

Seems to me that we are presented with state sponsored discrimination based upon a religious belief.

I don't think religion had anything to do with why they were rejected. They were rejected for the belief. It wouldn't matter if it was based on religion or not. They'd still be rejected.

Should a belief such as that even need to be disclosed during the process for adopting foster children?
Is it acceptable for the state to ask what you believe about gay marriage in order to adopt children? If so, where is the line drawn as to what is or isn't acceptable to ask, and where is the line drawn as to what is or isn't a religious belief?
Would it be acceptable to ask a potential foster parent if they believe in sharia law?

There is one thing that is never in short supply: someone telling someone else what they can and cannot do.

Originally Posted by frank47

There is one thing that is never in short supply: someone telling someone else what they can and cannot do.

I'm not sure that's true these days. Our moral and ethical standards have slipped so far that pretty much anything goes.
When someone is doing or saying something in public which many would find offensive there seems to be a shortage of right minded folk telling them to desist.
A great many youngsters (and adults that should know better) are pretty much out of control because there is no-one to tell them right from wrong for fear of being labelled interfering or politically incorrect (or from fear of getting punched in the face).