one BAD week

**nanna** · 08-12-2010, 05:40 AM

I just really need to vent I have had a heck of a week. I am sure no one really cares. But I need to talk/type anything I can do I talk to ger all the time and he is very, very supportive and my cat has chosen to make my lap his comfy place which I don't mind one bit. We have the normal stresses school work money baby (who I guess I should not call baby she is starting preschool next month). I take care of senior citizens in a adult family home and most days it is great. I just have four adults who need me to help with all sorts of things from the minor to the major. We take care of them right to the end and if they want allow then to pass in peace with the people who they love and who love them that is usually the choice that they make. No one who moves in to our home does not become a member of our family that is what makes it hard. We have a little lady who for about a week has been going down very fast she has lived with us for 8 years. She moved in walking, I have been there for her as she has gone in slow steps to a wheel chair and me having to completely transfer her and eventually changing her in bed. We know she is sick and does not have much time left but as I sit with my little lady in the hospital for 3 hours I was told by the dr that the iv fluids we are there for will not do much good she is terminal and will not last long. I knew she was not well and would be leaving us very soon but hearing that word TERMINAL just ripped out my heart. I do have to say that the time I had with her today just the two of us did give me some closure we were able to pray and I was able to give thanks for having her in my life. Sorry for my rambling and thank you for your patience I just had to do something.

**JMS** · 08-12-2010, 06:42 AM

Talking about what gets under our skin does the soul good.

**ScottGoodman** · 08-12-2010, 07:09 AM

You are a greater person than I. I can't imagine getting attached to an older person (you just can't help it most of the time) time and time again, only to loose them. I had a lady friend who was into the same type of elderly care (4-6 folks) that you are talking about and those times would be hard on her. There are no words that can make it all better. The only thing you can do is remember the good ties you shared and knowing that they aren't suffering any more.
God Bless you.
Scott

**ndw76** · 08-12-2010, 08:10 AM

Death is easy to understand and accept when it is not someone close to you. When it is someone close to you nothing makes sense. Just remember there are many people here who have gone through what you are experiencing and understand what you are feeling.

**Stubear** · 08-12-2010, 11:41 AM

All I have to say is

for looking after these people like you do. I agree with Nathan, its very easy to be blase about death when its not close to you, but when it is its the worst thing in the world.

God bless.

**Troggie** · 08-12-2010, 06:24 PM

I honestly think the work you do is one of the hardest jobs especially for someone who is truly caring for the people they take care of because how can you not get attached. As everything else time heals all wounds but it is always nice to have a place to release as well.

I know all too well as my wife was an Oncology nurse who took care of "frequent flyer" patients and then went to Pediatric Oncology so I get to be the sounding board a lot.

**BladeRunner001** · 08-12-2010, 07:23 PM

Jeez Nanna...my hat's off to you. What you do is pretty tough, especially emotionally. Hang in there.

**nun2sharp** · 08-12-2010, 07:35 PM

God Bless YOU!!!! I sincerely hope that there will be someone like you there for me when it is my turn.

**deighaingeal** · 08-12-2010, 07:38 PM

What is very interesting for me (as an insider) is the amount of stress she dictated here isn't even close to half of what she has had to deal with this week. Add on top of this that she hasn't had a day off in about 2 weeks. Despite all that she's doing great. A lot of people don't realize that those in the medical field care so much for these people then they have to turn around and act like nothings wrong to the other residents in the home. If they stress the others it isn't healthy for anyone. They also don't get the closure that family members get when they usually aren't invited to the funeral or even thanked by the family. Before I quit as a caregiver I had a family member sue me for neglect even though his father was no longer under my care.
People need to remember the caregivers are doing this because they love helping people. They make minimum wages, work long and stressful hours, and then have to act as a therapist for the family; all the while they have no one to help relieve their stresses onto.
I am proud of my wife for being the strong individual she is and helping people who otherwise wouldn't receive the level of care she provides.

**jnich67** · 08-14-2010, 12:40 AM

It is noble work you do and we're going to need more of it in the coming years. I know what you mean about "terminal". I remember when I heard "end-stage" with regard to my father (he was relatively young at the time). It changes things. Keep up the good work.

Jordan

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