Thread: A christmas wish from Shanghai to all my unknown friends here on SRP.

The Night Before Christmas – Shanghai Style

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T’was the night before Christmas, and all throughout Shanghai,
Not a creature was stirring, except for a few restless Laowai.
Tattered clothes were hung outside balconies with care,
As they dried and soaked up the smog-infested air.

Little Emperors were nestled all snug in their beds,
All dreaming of cash-filled envelopes colored red.
So I sat down for a cup of Baijiu and a Peking Duck Christmas feast,
Then laid down hoping St. Nicholas would soon be in the Far East.

When outside my Lane House there arose such a clatter,
It was a cage filled with live chicken, so I knew nothing was the matter.
But just passed the Metro line I saw a figure in the night,
And a fat man on a red bicycle started coming into my sight!

As he and his reindeer pedaled towards my Shikumen stone gate,
I heard a British expat in the alley shouting, “F*** Off, Mate!”
Without batting an eye or thinking twice,
The man kept pedaling towards me, announcing his price.

Now 200RMB! Now, 100RMB!, his “Last Last” price came so quick!
I soon found out that this man could not be St. Nick.
Because in the back of his “sleigh”, as he shouted with glee,
“I have fake Uggs, fake Nike, and other intellectual property.”

His eyes, his cheeks – how they would twinkle and shine,
Then he spit on the sidewalk and let people cut in line.
All the pushing and shoving was led by one obnoxious guy,
Producing a Christmas Spirit that you could only see in Shanghai.

But through all the commotion of this selfish majority,
Appeared one nightstick-bearing government authority.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Everyone fled and then he turned with a jerk.

“Don’t sell on my block; consider this a threat,
Unless you bring me a pack of my favorite cigarettes!”
So like a crazy taxi driver, the vendor pedaled out of sight,
And the guard’s belly shook as he laughed asking someone for a light.

I started back to my Lane House, and felt a rumble down below,
And headed straight for my squat toilet, ‘cause I really had to go.
The Baijiu and Duck came out like a flash,
And when I was done I threw the rest in the trash.

After a long winter’s night, I finally sprang back into bed,
Then I heard the guard knocking, and this is what he said,
“Get out of bed, I don’t have to tell you why,”
And so it ends, just another Christmas in Shanghai.

Ha! Not so tough without your crazy leader Kim now, are you!.... What? Oh.... Sorry, never mind wrong country.... Merry Christmas...

Hey no jokes at our national tragedy he was a god among insects. Ummm
Ya your right wrong topic .

Merry Christmas to all wish i was going to Hokkaido but Osaka is cool too much better then shanghai.


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I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=31.182611,121.542288

This thread is not going to do much for the real-estate market in Shanghai.

Merry Christmas, Shayne. You're quite the poet.

This question may be a bit off topic, but I was curious about this. Chinese is a tonal language, so how the heck does one sing a song and hope to be understood?

Originally Posted by markdfhr

This thread is not going to do much for the real-estate market in Shanghai.

Merry Christmas, Shayne. You're quite the poet.

This question may be a bit off topic, but I was curious about this. Chinese is a tonal language, so how the heck does one sing a song and hope to be understood?

in reply to property , man I really wish the market was reasonable . my 250 sqm cost 500,000 usd ( no yard , no private outside my door type property and i can only own it for the next eighty years oh and get this anytime the government wants they can kick me out and turn the whole place into a shopping center etc ) now you well know what that would get you in the states.

as to the music , well KTV is mad popular in asia and to me they all sound like cats fornicating. but thats my western ear. Keep in mind no matter how popular lady gaga or anyone else is in the west, One popular Chinese singer has a much bigger fan base due to chinese music is listened to all over asia as well as western 2nd gen Asians.

I wouldn't even know what to do with myself in China. Having a high priced house that the gov't can just take away from you (and, I assume, not compensate you for) would probably be a deal-breaker for me unless my employer guaranteed my investment. Fat chance on that, probably, eh?

I have to hand it to you being able to get along there. I have a co-worker who spent a lot of time living in China, too (he's not Chinese) and his parents still live there. Maybe I'm just not adventurous enough, but I don't know how you do it, or how they do it.

All the best to you in the coming year! Happy Holidays!
Johnus