Thread: habitual tardiness...

A band instructor in my formative years gave me advice that has stuck with me since:

"To be early is ot be on time... to be on time, it to be late"

I do not have the patience to wait on someone, as if their presence is the purpose of my existence.

Originally Posted by HNSB

On the flip-side of that: spending time with a "schedule nazi" can be pure hell too.

I think the importance of being on time largely depends on the circumstance. Some people get way too uptight about being on time, even if the reason for the time is arbitrary.

But then just don't agree to a specific time.
Say 'I'll drop by around noon'. Or 'before 2 PM' or something else.
However if you say or agree to 2 PM, don't show up at 3PM.

Originally Posted by Bruno

But then just don't agree to a specific time.
Say 'I'll drop by around noon'. Or 'before 2 PM' or something else.
However if you say or agree to 2 PM, don't show up at 3PM.

unless it's a day early

I have come to prefer people be late to something than early. There's nothing like a bunch of people showing up early to something when I'm not ready to host them. Do I have to be twice as early just because their fathers told them that to be on time is to be late? bah!

I guess I'm thinking of specific incidents...

I don't like taking trips with my brother because he plans an itinerary and if it gets off by one minute it ruins his whole day.
I can understand having firm times for some things on a trip - having tickets for an event that starts at a certain time, of course should be a "firm" time.
Deciding that we have exactly 45 minutes and no more to stop to photograph scenery because he wants to be at the hotel at exactly 1900 (for no reason other than to be there at that time) - sorry - that just doesn't work for me.

No that would be impolite of your guests. Being too early is an inconvenience to the host.
But say that you have guest over for diner, it would be rude of them to show up an hour late.

Originally Posted by Bruno

No that would be impolite of your guests. Being too early is an inconvenience to the host.
But say that you have guest over for diner, it would be rude of them to show up an hour late.

I agree. Or calling to say "I'm going to be a little late" when they're already an hour late. But then the benefit of also being a procrastinator would be that both parties are on the same page

Originally Posted by HNSB

Deciding that we have exactly 45 minutes and no more to stop to photograph scenery because he wants to be at the hotel at exactly 1900 (for no reason other than to be there at that time) - sorry - that just doesn't work for me.

That sounds like a form of cruelty. Do you ever change the time on his wristwatch just to mess with him?

I am very punctual, but I am also a horrible procrastinator.
I manage this by only being punctual about the things I have committed to.

I myself, in my heart of hearts, cannot stand dealing with people who are continuously or predictably late. I put limits on them, and tend to steer clear of their half hearted commitments. As a hairdresser I have learned over the years that I can only control John, even when a client shows ten minutes late for 'her' scheduled appointment with a single Starbucks in her hand, for herself of course. It shows that they don't give a damn about anyone's time but their own. It could also mean they're just a plain old scatterbrain. But I want their money, so I have learned to work with them. Other tardy people could be procrastinators, or maybe narcissistic. Either way, they're unorganized, and they could cause me plenty of stress, and sub mediocre results if I had to rely on them in any way. As far as the girlfriends, it wont last long at all if they're unreliable. But on the other end, as HNSB stated, being around a schedule nazi is hell too.

I'm a (real) estate agent in the UK, I allocate 30 minutes to show a "normal" house. People are frequently late less than 10 minutes isn't a big deal to me, if it gets to 12 minutes I ring them if I get no answer and its 15 minutes then I go as the odds are they aren't coming and couldn't be bothered to let me know which happens about 5% of the time.

The people that annoy me are the ones that I ring and they say "we're nearly there" and pitch up 20 minutes late and get narky when you tell them that it will have to be brief showing as I have another appointment after. I generally say that it would be very rude of me to keep my next appointment waiting.....

Some very arrogant people recently keeping me waiting for half an hour as they had to stop off for a latte and a cake instead of coming to the appointment. They saw several houses with us and were always very late without apology, they did want to buy one eventually which the owner had shown. It is an interesting house and we had 2 potential buyers both in similar situations, I discussed matters with the owner and suggested that people with lower levels of consideration towards others tend to be less reliable buyers so we chose to go with the others. As far as I know they are still looking.

Originally Posted by Crzylizard

A band instructor in my formative years gave me advice that has stuck with me since:

"To be early is ot be on time... to be on time, it to be late"

I do not have the patience to wait on someone, as if their presence is the purpose of my existence.

Yet a band instructor may be thinking music.
Have you ever sat next to someone with no rhythm at a good concert?
Years ago Cat Stevens stopped his show to scold some young thing
that could not clap in time with the music. Sort of slowed down the concert
for a song or two... c.1970 for those that care.