Thread: Problems? Ask Aunty Jimbo.

Dear Auntie Jimbo,

I have a quandary. I was out in the garage tonight working on my Opel and am wondering...

If I drive faster than the speed of light and turn my headlights on what will happen?

I'm, In the dark.

Originally Posted by 32t

Dear Auntie Jimbo,

I have a quandary. I was out in the garage tonight working on my Opel and am wondering...

If I drive faster than the speed of light and turn my headlights on what will happen?

I'm, In the dark.

I thought only Deloreans could go that fast

Originally Posted by onimaru55

I thought only Deloreans could go that fast

USS Enterprise
HMS Botany Bay
SWMBO on her way to the mall.

Originally Posted by onimaru55

I thought only Deloreans could go that fast

I admit that the speed of light is yet a goal of mine but I have already run into trouble with blind people at intersections at the speed of sound.

The paperwork is enormous and I want to solve the issue this time beforehand.

"Ball Handler" in San Francisco writes:

Originally Posted by mapleleafalumnus

Dear Aunty Jimbo --
Why is it that in American baseball they throw a round ball at you, and they tell you to hit it square?

Dear "Ball Handler"

I have ceased to wonder at the patent absurdities and blatant contradictions that emanate from US team sports. Did you know, for example, that in American football a Tight End can behave as a Wide Receiver? It sounds highly suspicious to me! Dear Uncle Jimbo (God rest his tight buttocks!) had a rather firm bum - it used to jiggle quite enticingly when given a firm smack, and left a tingling sensation on one's hand that was eminently satisfactory.

Aunty Jimbo.

"Dark Matter" in Geneva writes:

Originally Posted by 32t

Dear Auntie Jimbo,

I have a quandary. I was out in the garage tonight working on my Opel and am wondering...

If I drive faster than the speed of light and turn my headlights on what will happen?

I'm, In the dark.

Whenever Aunty Jimbo has a physics problem that she cannot solve, she does what the physicists do: she calls it "dark matter" and leaves it up to smarter people than her to work out somewhere down the road.

However, in your case I suspect that the typical laws of headlight projection do not apply at speeds approaching the speed of light. Furthermore, if you drive an Opel you will have enough problems approaching the speed of walking, let alone the speed of light, so the point is moot.

Aunty Jimbo.

Originally Posted by Jimbo

"Dark Matter" in Geneva writes:

However, in your case I suspect that the typical laws of headlight projection do not apply at speeds approaching the speed of light. Furthermore, if you drive an Opel you will have enough problems approaching the speed of walking, let alone the speed of light, so the point is moot.

Aunty Jimbo.

I disagree and offer the following as proof. As you can see everything is starting to blur!

Dear Aunty Jimbo,
My mother just informed me that I am my own Grandpa. What is the meaning of this? It seems impossible,


I hope you can tell me!
Bruce

"Incestuous" in Kentucky writes:

Originally Posted by sharptonn

Dear Aunty Jimbo,
My mother just informed me that I am my own Grandpa. What is the meaning of this? It seems impossible,


I hope you can tell me!
Bruce

Dear "Incestuous",

It is conceivable that, through a series of marriages, divorces, and subsequent remarriages in the correct order to the correct people, you can in fact end up as your own grandfather.

This reminds me of a conversation I once had with George W. Bush. George told me that he once visited the queen of England and asked her how she had so many clever MPs.

"I always asks them one question,", She said, "and if they get it right they are hired."

George asked her to demonstrate that question for him.

The Queen looks at Tony Blair and says "Tony come over here. Tony, brothers and sisters you have none, who is your fathers son?"
Tony Blair says "Why of course that is me."

This impressed George immensely, and as soon as he got back to America he asked John Kerry, "John! Brothers and sisters you have none, who is your fathers son?"

"I don't know", says John Kerry.

"Ha!!" says George. "It's Tony Blair!"

Aunty Jimbo.

Originally Posted by 32t

I disagree and offer the following as proof. As you can see everything is starting to blur!

It would seem that the Opel has no headlamps and is sitting idle. I can count the lugnuts on the wheels! The world is revolving around it? That could explain it! Perhaps Aunty Jimbo can corellate the spining of the earth on it's axis in relation to a (usually) idle Opel? This would be helpful in everyday life.
Bruce