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Thread: In All Seriousness...

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  1. 09-27-2012, 01:47 AM #15
    carlmaloschneider
    carlmaloschneider is offline
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    Yes, I started out all cultured and now it's turned rapidly to toilet humor. Pull my finger.

    Seriously though, thanks for the comments. I need to work on it. I want it to be a bit Walt Whitmanish, conjuring up thoughts of a great healthy nation, like early America. And I want it to continue to praise certain things, but then the reader realises that somewhere along the way they're now reading about the less favorable aspects (segregation). I think the second to last line should move further up...
    Last edited by carlmaloschneider; 09-27-2012 at 01:58 AM.
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    32t (09-27-2012)
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