Thread: Finally, a good shaving joke!

Ok, just got this one in the email...


A man went to a barber for a trim and a shave.
While the barber was lathering the man up for his shave, the man told the barber that he always has a hard time getting a close shave on his cheeks.


The barber pulled a small wooden ball out of this cabinet drawer. "Place this ball between your cheek and gum on the right side and I can give you a close shave."


The man did this, and the barber shaved the right side of his face. "Wow!" exclaimed the man, "that is great!" He put the ball in the left side of his mouth, in anticipation of the barber's next move and with muffled voice asked, "Buh wat happens if I accidentowy swawo du baw?"


The barber said, "Just bring it back tomorrow. That's what most guys do."

Ha!

I was sceptical when I saw the subject line, but you delivered!

I heard the tennis-ball version, it still cracks me up

Here's the real deal:
http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthr...ht=rubber+ball

cheers,
Nenad

Naaa... This joke's been around way before B&B or the internet for that matter.

Heres another...

A man sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours."

The man leaves.

A few days later the same man sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The man leaves.

A week later the same man sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The man leaves.

The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey Jim. Follow that bloke and see where he goes."

A little while later, Jim comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asks, "Jim, where did he go when he left here?"

Jim looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house!"

Not a shaving joke but it reminds me of the guy who goes to the doctor with intense headaches, begging for some kind of medication. The doc tells him,

"Just do what I do. When I feel a headache coming on, I make love to my wife. The headache vanishes. Try this for a month and then come back and see me."

One month later, the guy is back.

"Well, how are the headaches" the doctor asks.

"Doctor, you were right. Worked like a charm. And by the way, you have a beautiful home!"

RT

One of our local sheriff's deputies was tasked with hand delivering a subpoena to a local businessman named Bob Cox. He stopped by his office, and the receptionist told him that he was out getting a haircut. As the deputy was walking down Main Street, he happened by a local barber shop with the door open. Glancing in, he noticed an older gentleman in a business suit getting his hair cut. On the outside chance that this might be his quarry, he stuck his head in, looked at the business man, and said "Excuse me, you Bob Cox?" and, without looking up, the barber replied...

"Nah, I just cut hair!"

----badda - bing!

-whatever

-Lou

LOL, nice ones guys. I've got one... it isn't a barber joke, but it's still a joke


For several weeks around the world there has been incessant pouring rain, everything is being flooded and the water level only climbs. Threatened by the climbing water level, a devoutly religious man climbs on to his roof for some higher ground. Several hours pass and the water only gets higher.

Finally a guy in a skiff comes along and says "hey man, you're lucky I came along. Jump on in and we can find some higher ground". The religious man sits contently on his roof and replies "No thanks, god will save me." The guy in the skiff gives a puzzled look and then rows off...

Some time passes and the water level is so high it's only feet away from the religious man. Finally a motor boat comes along. The guy in the boat says to the religous man "C'mon and jump in, I know of some higher ground that we can hold out on for a long time." The religous man sits contently on his roof and replies "No thanks, god will save me." The man in the boat laughs and then motors off...

More time passes and the water is now so high that drowning is imminant for our religious friend. This time a huge yacht comes sailing by. The man on the yacht shouts "Climb on in friend. I've got enough supplies to last for months and topographic maps of all the land." The religous man sits contently on his roof and replies "No thanks, god will save me." The man in the yacht shrugs and sails off...

Some time passes, the flooding becomes too much, and our dear religious friend drowns. He enters heaven and is somewhat dissapointed that god didn't save him. He asks god "God, I was devoutly religious my entire life. Why didn't you save me?"

God replied "Well I tried...
I sent a skiff, a boat and a yacht."

WALMART HORROR STORIES-- Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that her husband go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping.

He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.

All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ....

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

RT