Thread: "This is going to hurt me more than it is you"

I might feel that way sometimes. But I don't think I'd ever say that to my kids. I wouldn't want to demean the sadness/pain that they're experiencing. Besides even if it were true, they wouldn't believe me anyway.

My mother would punch me in the arm and break blood vessels or get bruises on her fingers from her rings.

You know - I read this thread and the revenge thread yesterday - didn't really have much to say about it, but somehow this morning the two threads niggled at me.

I don't know if I believe in Karma and/or the expression "what comes around, goes around"... I do believe you do make you own bed though. I think people confuse making your own bed with Karma, and "what comes around, goes around." Or maybe they are the same thing.

Anyway - with respect to "this is going to hurt me more than it will you," I am getting to the point where I believe it actually may be true.

As one ages and mellows and reflects, I figure the violence a person has bestowed on the most defenseless and innocent of the world (children), will come back to haunt them. Be it in the form of conscience... or the lack of children beside ones death bed.

For some reason, this statement reminds me of my grandfather teaching me about deer hunting.

My son was in his youth and still is to this day a very fine son. At the age of about 10 I had to spank him a couple of times due to situations at school. I know that the things he had done came from peer pressure and was something he would normally never do. After the spankings I later went to him and told him that he made bad decisions and this is the reward for what he had done but I still loved him.
In a short time the pain was gone, he learned from his mistakes and went on with his childhood as kids do, but i can tell you those couple of situations stayed with me for a long time and I still think about them.
I in no way baby or hover over my children so it isn't over sensitivity to that sort of thing but it was the situation and how the whole thing panned out that made it difficult for me.
I agree with JimmyHad, spare the rod and spoil the child. Society has changed so much.

I have never hit my children. I know some people will use the quote "spare the rod and spoil the child" as justification to hit their children. But this quote does not appear in the bible, what it actually says in Proverbs 13:24 is "whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him". This is a parable (a short fictitious story that illustrates a lesson) The Hebrew word for rod is scepter used as a symbol of authority. meaning the head of the house needed to exercise his parental authority to guide his children to be better, not hit them when they do something wrong.