Joke of the day

[Ripvanpit]

Always like to start the day with a smile.

Me and the wife have just invented a new collision avoidance system,

Were calling it iDrive.

[Ripvanpit]

Pope Benedict has resigned as pope saying that at 85he no longer has the strength to lead the church

A few weeks Hugh Hefner married his 27 year old girlfriend at the age of 87

Does'nt say much for celebacy does it.

[Ripvanpit]

As I climbed into the new bed I had just bought me and my wife she didn't seem happy at all ,just snarled and turned her back on me. I think she is just jealous I got the top bunk.

[Laurens]

A blind man enters a pub, sits down at the bar and says: "Want to hear a blonde joke?" The pub goes dead silent and he hears a heavy female voice from behind the bar: "I'll explain the silence. I am a blonde wrestling champion, sitting at the left of you is a blonde karate teacher, at the other side is another blonde weighing at least 100 kilograms and our security guard is... blonde. Do you still want to tell your joke?" The man thinks it over and replies: "No, I don't feel like explaining it five times"

[Johnus]

Paco ... That amazing! How does it go that??!!

[TrilliumLT]

My grandfather is a WWII veteran and has the heart of a lion. He also has a life time ban from the zoo.

[tom475]

Non-partisan. I was going to be a politician for Halloween but I could not get my head up my own @$$.

[Grazor]

An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now! Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes. The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther. The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old Doberman sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says "Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the old dogs...

[tom475]

Parallel lines have so much in common. Too bad they will never meet.

[Grazor]

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