Thread: Joke of the day

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards then backwards, forward then backward, again and again.

Back and forth, back and forth, in and out, a little to the right, a little to the left, she could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her
breasts, and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the end.

Her heart was pounding, her face was flushed, she moaned, softly at first,
then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out a piercing scream and shouted;
"OK, OK, you smug bastard, I can't parallel park, you do it."

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Vicar, a Rabbi and a Priest walk into a bar. The barman looks up and says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Q# Heard about the Irish rapeist ?

A# tied the woman's legs together so she couldn't get away

The Lone Ranger's Last Request

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an
Enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So, YOU’RE the great Lone Ranger" ...

"In honour of the Harvest Festival,
YOU will be executed in three days."

"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"
"What is your FIRST request ???'

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

The Chief nods and Silver is brought before
The Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's
Ear, and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with a
Beautiful blonde woman on his back.

As the Indian Chief watches, the
Blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and
Spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.
"You have a very fine and loyal horse"

"But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request???"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.

Silver is brought to him, and he
Again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and
Disappears over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns,
This time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.

She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"

"But I will still kill you tomorrow."

"What is your LAST request ???"

The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse ..... Alone."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees,
And Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
Looks him square in the eye and says,

Listen Very Carefully !!!!
FOR..THE... LAST... TIME....

I SAID ...'BRING POSSE Not PUSSY

There is a joke of the day thread in... I believe it's in the conversation.

Originally Posted by holli4pirating

There is a joke of the day thread in... I believe it's in the conversation.

That one got closed down for continued tasteless jokes after multiple moderator warnings.
If this one is to stay open, it has to stay clean - like with bleach.

A man goes to the doctor and says: 'Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.' The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.
The man asks: 'Is it serious, doctor?' and the doctor replies: 'I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.'

After witnessing my local train station going up in flames I was interviewed by the local news. One of their questions was " were there lots of people panicking ".
But I'd would have to say it was more of a low commotion.

The first rule of Thesaurus Club is you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss or chat about Thesaurus Club.