Thread: Joke of the day

The 5 most important rules for a man :

- It's important to find a woman who will do the daily housework, while smiling.

- It's important to find a woman who is smart, and can makes you laugh.

- It's important to find a woman trustworthy, who never cheats on you.

- It's important to find a woman good in bed, who never has headaches.

- It's important to be sure that those four women do not know each other.

WATCH AND WAIT

President Obama wakes up in the middle of the night and much to his surprise there stands the ghost of Margret Thatcher. They have a cordial conversation and Obama finally asks her, "How were you so successful in cleaning up that mess in your country? My country is a bit of a mess at the moment and I'd sure appreciate any advice you can share." Without hesitation the Iron Lady says, "The secret to being an effective leader is to surround yourself with very intelligent people." It makes sense to Obama but he asks, "How do I know if I've done that?" Thatcher replies, ask them a simple riddle, your mother and father have a child who is neither your brother nor your sister, who is it?" If they can solve the riddle you'll know that they're very intelligent people."

The next day, Obama is quite keen to give this a go so he walks up to Biden and asks him, "Your Mom and Dad have a child that is neither your brother nor your sister, who is it?" Naturally, hair plugs Biden is completely clueless. Not wanting to look completely incompetent, he says, "Well Boss, let me research that and get back to you."

Later that day, Obama runs into John McCain. Obama says to himself, Republicans are idiots, he'll never get the riddle but I'll try anyway" so Obama asks him and within seconds McCain replies, "it's me."

Meanwhile Biden asks Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and John Kerry and none of them can answer. He's getting desperate as he know's Obama will ask about the riddle the next time they meet and he doesn't want to look like an idiot. The next person he runs into is Marco Rubio, he says to himself, "Republicans are idiots but I'm running out of ideas" In the blink of an eye, Rubio answers, "it's me"

The next day after the morning staff meeting Obama asks Biden, "Joe, do you have an answer to the riddle?" Biden grins from ear to ear as he certain he'll impress the boss and says, "It's Marco Rubio" Obama looks disappointed and says, "Joe, you're dumb as a bag of hammers, it's not Marco Rubio, it's John McCain."

Paco ... That amazing! How does it go that??!!

My grandfather is a WWII veteran and has the heart of a lion. He also has a life time ban from the zoo.

Non-partisan. I was going to be a politician for Halloween but I could not get my head up my own @$$.

An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now! Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes. The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther. The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old Doberman sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says "Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the old dogs...

Parallel lines have so much in common. Too bad they will never meet.