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    The only straight man in Thailand ndw76's Avatar
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    Default The best seat on the bus

    I am a man of simple pleasures and I would like to share one of them with you all. Every working day I catch the early bus into work at about 6am and then I get the same bus back home at the end of the day. This bus is loud, not air conditioned, cramped and often a bit smelly. But the one thing about this bus can be the difference between having a good day at work and a great day.

    Every bus ride I hope to get the best seat on the bus. Of course almost any seat is better than having to stand for the whole bus ride home but some seats are better than others.

    The worst seat for sure is the back seat or one seat from the back. In this seat you will usually find old men who like to bath in fish sauce three times a week and are allergic to soap and water. It is better to stand than sit in this seat.

    Then the next worst seat is the one over the wheel arch. A one hour bus ride in a non air conditioned bus is made a whole lot more uncomfortable when I have my knees close to my ears. When I get up from this seat I look like I am drunk, because as I walk, I can't feel my feet any more due to lack of circulation.

    So what is the best seat? It's not at the front of the bus because this is right next to the motor and is so noisy you can't hear yourself think.

    The best seat is roughly in the middle of the bus, half way between the noisy motor and the smelly old fish sauce guy.

    This is where I have to make a choice. The double seat on the left or the single seat on the right. On the right I get to sit by myself. No risk. But if I chose the left there is a chance I will end up with some cute young girl sitting next to me. This makes the bus ride so much more enjoyable.

    But in this double seat there is always the risk that I could find myself sitting next to the friend of Fish sauce guy.

    So, finding the right seat on the bus is one of my simple pleasures and one of the finer things in my life.
    Last edited by ndw76; 02-17-2010 at 05:58 AM. Reason: Spelling mistake

  2. #2
    JMS
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    Usagi Yojimbo JMS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ndw76 View Post
    I am a man of simple pleasures and I would like to share one of them with you all. Every working day I catch the early bus into work at about 6am and then I get the same bus back home at the end of the day. This bus is loud, not air conditioned, cramped and often a bit smelly. But the one thing about this bus can be the difference between having a good day at work and a great day.

    Every bus ride I hope to get the best seat on the bus. Of course almost any seat is better than having to stand for the whole bus ride home but some seats are better than others.

    The worst seat for sure is the back seat or one seat from the back. In this seat you will usually find old men who like to bath in fish sauce three times a week and are allergic to soap and water. It is better to stand than sit in this seat.

    Then the next worst seat is the one over the wheel arch. A one hour bus ride in a non air conditioned bus is made a whole lot more uncomfortable when I have my knees close to my ears. When I get up from this seat I look like I am drunk, because as I walk, I can't feel my feet any more due to lack of circulation.

    So what is the best seat? It's not at the front of the bus because this is right next to the motor and is so noisy you can't hear yourself think.

    The best seat is roughly in the middle of the bus, half way between the noisy motor and the smelly old fish sauce guy.

    This is where I have to make a choice. The double seat on the left or the single seat on the right. On the right I get to sit by myself. No risk. But if I chose the left there is a chance I will end up with some cute young girl sitting next to me. This makes the bus ride so much more enjoyable.

    But in this double seat there is always the risk that I could find myself sitting next to the friend of Fish sauce guy.

    So, finding the right seat on the bus is one of my simple pleasures and one of the finer things in my life.
    No wonder your father in law hates you.

    Yeah, I understand. When I rode a bus I always preferred the middle also but I imagine your busses are more like the jeepneys in the PI rather than the US busses that are limousine rides in comparison

  3. #3
    The only straight man in Thailand ndw76's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JMS View Post
    No wonder your father in law hates you.
    I said sitting next to, not hitting on. Didn't Einstein say sit next to a beautiful girl for an hour and it will feel like ten minutes. Sit next to fish sauce guy for ten minutes and it will feel like an hour.

  4. #4
    Senior Member blabbermouth niftyshaving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ndw76 View Post
    I am a man of simple pleasures and I would like to share one of them with you all. Every working day I catch the early bus into work at about 6am and then I get the same bus back home at the end of the day. This bus is loud, not air conditioned, cramped and often a bit smelly.
    ......
    But in this double seat there is always the risk that I could find myself sitting next to the friend of Fish sauce guy.
    ....
    If you have LONG legs the best seat might be
    next to the Fish sauce guy... just place a
    big prickly ripe durian fruit between you and him.

    Now you have leg room...

    In fact Durian might be one of the finer things in life.

  5. #5
    The only straight man in Thailand ndw76's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niftyshaving View Post

    In fact Durian might be one of the finer things in life.
    Only if you like the smell of rotting flesh.

  6. #6
    The Hurdy Gurdy Man thebigspendur's Avatar
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    The last time I rode in a bus was when I was in High School and in those days the seat in the back of the bus was where it was at.
    No matter how many men you kill you can't kill your successor-Emperor Nero

  7. #7
    Straight Shaver ChrisK's Avatar
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    I usually dont mind the front... just make sure you dont let things get out of hand, like this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nxV_...eature=related

  • #8
    The only straight man in Thailand ndw76's Avatar
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    I watched that without the sound but I get the impression that some people just don't know when to stop talking.

  • #9
    Senior Member InstaRAD's Avatar
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    It's great when people get shut down by old guys!

  • #10
    "My words are of iron..."
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    Or, you could eat more fish sauce and in a couple weeks smell like Fish Sauce Guy and he'll probably think you're a pretty cool dude. You might make a new friend for life...

    Sure it sounds weird, but during my time in Siam, when I quit smelling like McDonald's and more like fish sauce, fitting into the local culture was a lot easier. You can have my piece of Durian and welcome to it.
    “Nothing discloses real character like the use of power. Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power.” R.G.Ingersoll

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