Thread: Slightly embarrassing moments in life

I used to get embarrassed when women giggled at me when I stripped down to my birthday suit, but I'm O.K. with it now.

Originally Posted by Jimbo

No, Hall of Fame is mother-in-law AND girlfriend simultaneously.

James.

James --
Actually, to be precise, it was both future mom AND dad-in-law. That's hard-core Hall of SHAME!!!
Fortunately, ESPN didn't get ahold of the vid...

Thank you Birnando! You made a difficult day at work much, much better. I was in need of a laugh this afternoon and you sir delivered!

Goodness, Birnando, your mother in law?!?

Almost as bad as me getting drunk at my in laws, and, deciding I really did need to vomit, and knowing I';d not make it outside, deciding to reach for a potato chip bowl.
I cleaned the bowl as soon as I could, but it was thrown away the next morning. No matter how well I'd cleaned it, she said, she never could have bought herself to use it again.

Have I told you the story about teaching my soldiers how to strip a Minimi machine gun? It ended in a visit to hospital.

Originally Posted by carlmaloschneider

Have I told you the story about teaching my soldiers how to strip a Minimi machine gun? It ended in a visit to hospital.

Didn't you tell them it is always a good idea to buy dinner and drinks first?

Birnando, you have taken the "look at the mother" before deciding on the daughter a "huge" step forward, lol!

This has nothing to do with booze or sex. I was once a mounted trooper in the South Australian Police Greys, part of our duties were of a ceremonial nature, having taken them over from the Light Horse. It was a Governors escort down at Port Adelaide, the then Governor, Sir Donald Dunstan, a rather elderly General, and most respected chap. He is doing the usual inspection, walking down the rank, in company with the Officer in Charge, when he spots me, minus one of my ceremonial epaulets, sticks out like dogs balls, that was one of my most embarrassing moments ever.
I had put all the scrambled egg on my tunic before leaving barracks and somehow overlooked the epaulet, a rather typical me type stuff up. He normally would say to the Boss, 'Well turned out', his eyes just glazed over when he saw me, my face about puce with embarrassment. Did not live that one down for a long time.

Well, Birnando, that was quite a tale! What was likely my most embarrassing moment occurred my second time around in college.

While serving in the navy, I developed a progressive hearing loss that would leave me profoundly deaf sixteen years later. In 1991 my hearing loss was so severe that I could no longer work in my field so I quit my job and entered Gallaudet University in Washington, DC to learn American Sign Language and complete my bachelor's degree that I had started in 1971. (Gallaudet is the only four-year liberal arts college in the world for deaf and hard of hearing students.) I worked hard and did very well. As graduation approached in the Spring of 1994, I was looking forward to reentering the work force in my new field of social work.

There is a longstanding – though informal – tradition among freshmen at Gallaudet University. Each year at the beginning of midterm exams, and again at the beginning of final exams, members of the freshman class form into teams to simultaneously pull the fire alarms at each of the six dorms that students reside in on campus. They do this several times in the course of the night and they do it every night of exam week.

When the fire alarm sounds, students are required to evacuate the dorm and remain outside until the district fire department has searched each building and verified that it was a false alarm. Since three of the dorms are very large hi-rises, you can imagine that the students who had to leave their beds at 1:00 AM had been standing around waiting to get back to bed for a very long time – only to have the fire alarm sound AGAIN about a half-hour after they climbed back into bed! So as graduation approached, I was also looking forward to my last week of sleep deprivation.

Each year, the Gallaudet University School of Social Work presents an award for academic excellence to the student with the highest GPA, along with a number of other awards to recognize students who have excelled in various areas of their education. These awards are presented at an awards dinner the evening of the last day of final exams. The dinner is attended by faculty, staff, students and the students' field instructors from the various agencies and clinics where the students worked their internships.

This year (1994) was going to be special. The School of Social Work had changed the name of the academic excellence award to the Dorothy Polakoff Award for Academic Excellence, to honor Dorothy Polakoff, who had founded the School of Social Work in 1976 and was its chair until her retirement. Mrs. Polakoff was invited to give a presentation on the Social Work Department's history at Gallaudet and to present the first award named in her honor.

By the time I walked into the awards dinner, a fog-like stupor had settled over my mind after a week of no sleep with intense daily cramming sessions and equally intense focus to do well on my exams. I kept nodding off, but managed to stay awake to applaud my fellow classmates as they marched up to the podium to receive their well-deserved awards. At some point during Mrs. Polakoff's presentation, though, I lost the battle and settled into a fitful slumber. . . .

I don't know what prompted me, but I woke up and opened my eyes to find everyone in the room staring at me. OH MY GOD! NO!!

[Flashback to mid-1970s. I was serving on the ballistic missile submarine USS Casimir Pulaski. It was a period between patrols. The entire crew was required to attend a lecture on intelligence and counter intelligence given by our captain. I fell asleep during the lecture and was abruptly awakened by a smack to the back of my head. The chief petty officer sitting next to me was really angry. He told me I had been snoring really loud.]

When I realized everyone in the room was staring at me, I became mortified! Was I snoring? (I do snore loud!) Adrenaline kicked in and I was instantly hyper-alert, going through in my mind what I needed to do in the next couple of seconds.

Everyone – Mrs. Polakoff included – seemed to be looking at me with anticipation, not anger or annoyance. I got up from my chair and walked to the podium. I reasoned that if I didn't see my name on the award plaque, it would be appropriate for me to apologize to Mrs. Polakoff personally for being so rude as to fall asleep and snore during her presentation then apologize to my classmates and leave the banquet hall in tears.

As it turned out, my name was on the plaque. I cannot describe the sense of relief that flooded through me. Apparently, everyone thought that my hesitation was surprise at being the recipient of the award.

I hadn't been snoring; I dodged a bullet. Though my embarrassment was not made public, it was deeply, deeply felt.
Morty -_-

It was October of last year that my wife and I were married in Las Vegas. We are both a little older than most people getting around to their first marriage and didn’t want to have an overly expensive one afternoon/evening of a typically tedious wedding ceremony. So we flew to Vegas and had a really nice long weekend, got married, dined at some great restaurants, relaxed, and enjoyed Vegas. We stayed at the Wynn hotel and enjoyed the atmosphere there quite a bit. Each day we’d stroll through the shopping area on our way out as it leads toward the next closest hotel. My wife, who is not normally into luxurious items, spotted a hand bag in a Chanel store window. It was our wedding weekend in Las Vegas and we were probably a little more free with our cash than we’d normally be. So she entertained the idea of buying it as a special wedding splurge. She spied the price tag at about $900, much more than she would normally even consider. Well, it seemed like a wonderful bag as far as she was concerned but still very, very expensive. So we moved on. Each day we’d pass by and she’d look at it and consider it again. Finally one evening after a few drinks that was it. We were going to get the damn bag and that was that. Into the store we marched. The sales person was already familiar with our faces having seen us so many times looking in the window. She asked about the bag and it was brought to her to look over. Great, she loves it. Right? Ok. She informs the sales person that we’d like to buy it. Well, isn’t that wonderful? Can I get either of you a glass of wine? Perhaps a bottle of water? Mint? Lamb chop? Anything? As we stood there drinking our complimentary water, the woman comes to us to politely inform us that my new wife’s credit card was declined. Oh dear, how embarrassing. I reached into my wallet and provided my card to assure that this transaction goes down with no trouble. Wonderful, we’re back on track. I sign for the purchase and the sales person steps away to wrap up special this delightful suede bag that has been the object of my new wife’s heart (never mind me) over the past couple days. As I scan the receipt for the purchase I saw the number $600 or something. I mention this to my wife that there must be something wrong that perhaps it was on sale or something, what is this $600 thing. Oh that. Yes, that would be the tax not the purchase price. We two fools happened to ignore one of those zeros on the price tag. No, not $900 for you low-brow rubes, $9000. I hope this doesn’t change your mind now does it? What’s a few/ten thousand dollars on your wedding celebration right? Horrified I told my new bride that she got us in this mess and it was now her job to get us out. Sheepishly she interrupts the sales person with a bright red face and tail between her legs to ask that she cease her elaborate packaging as we may have encountered a problem. Yes, there was a mistake. An $8200 mistake in our math and of course we are sorry for the inconvenience but we will have to cancel this transaction. Hope you don’t mind. I’m sure a few tipsy rubes like us make this mistake now and then right? Needless to say my wife no longer wanted to exit the building through the shops for the remainder of our stay. I still hold the receipt for the cancelled transaction as little momento from that trip.

Is it bad that I am proud of moments in my life that some might consider embarrassing? There are some great stories here though.