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Thread: Superman

  1. #1
    Irrelevant stimpy52's Avatar
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    Default Superman

    It's 2:23AM in Rochester, lightly snowing. If I was sane I'd be sleeping, but I can't figure out how Superman shaves. Not even a Filarmonica or a Duck should be able to slice through Kal-El's superwhiskers. Clark Kent should look like a ZZ Topper. I'm troubled.
    Don't get hung up on hanging hairs.

  2. #2
    Senior Member AlanII's Avatar
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    He certainly used to use a mirror to reflect his heat vision back onto his beard which only seemed to grow when he'd been exposed to Red Kryptonite, but I haven't been keeping up with his latest exploits so this information maybe way out of date.

  3. #3
    The only straight man in Thailand ndw76's Avatar
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    I always assumed super man chewed his fingernails until they were jaggard and then scraped his whiskers off with his fingernails.

  4. #4
    The Great & Powerful Oz onimaru55's Avatar
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    The heat vision story sounds way cooler... & more hygienic
    The white gleam of swords, not the black ink of books, clears doubts and uncertainties and bleak outlooks.

  5. #5
    The only straight man in Thailand ndw76's Avatar
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    But wouldn't his heat vision just melt through the mirror?

  6. #6
    A Newbie....Forever! zepplin's Avatar
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    A more serious problem would be when he'd make love to Lois Lane and get a little too excited.........

    The results could be desasterous! (lol)

  7. #7
    The only straight man in Thailand ndw76's Avatar
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    Lois would have to be more worried about what could happen if she got pregnant. What would happen with the baby started kicking?

  8. #8
    Senior Member blabbermouth
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    Thumbs up

    More than likely he uses the Northern forest (Paul Bunyan) technique of beating the whiskers inward and then biting them off. Dovo and TI have not been tickled to learn of this technique, which is just too bad, as it does result in the perfect BBS "shave" without benefit of any mechanical contrivance.

  9. #9
    Super Shaver xman's Avatar
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    xman to the rescue ...

    Quote Originally Posted by AlanII View Post
    He certainly used to use a mirror to reflect his heat vision back onto his beard ...
    I have seen this depicted in comics so it must be true.

    Quote Originally Posted by ndw76 View Post
    But wouldn't his heat vision just melt through the mirror?
    Well, he's Superman so he can control his heat vision to produce just the right amount of heat which is light anyway so it's reflected by the mirror.

    As for haircuts ... this was all I could find.


  10. #10
    Senior Member AlanII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xman View Post
    xman to the rescue ...


    I have seen this depicted in comics so it must be true.
    So far, that maxim has never let me down. I do love this song though.
    YouTube - Ain't No Such Thing As A Superman by Gil Scott Heron

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