I'll start with a few:

  • you think about shaving with a straight and smile
  • you keep wanting to shave with a straight even when you cut your face like crap
  • you spend more $$$ on razors than necessary / reasonable / you can afford
  • you have to hide your straight-related purchases from your significant other
  • you truly believe you "need" this $399 (or more) razor
  • you can't wait for your beard to grow so that you can shave again


I'm sure there are others much more hilarious - let's hear them