Thread: lets have a contest

My lie is so ubiquitous that I'm sure I won't win. Here goes:

Me to my wife: "No baby, I'm SAVING money."

Originally Posted by weirdbob

My lie is so ubiquitous that I'm sure I won't win. Here goes:

Me to my wife: "No baby, I'm SAVING money."

I think many of us have said that one. And that is one of the biggest lies we ever told! I'm curious about how this contest will be judged? As it seems it is based on our since of humor. Anyway it's a good laugh.

I told my woman, "I will never take up as much room in the bathroom as you do."

Maybe whoever gets the most "likes" will win the contest.

To wife: "I only need two straight razors."

Got my first one three days ago, and already have 4 now. Also have a DE on the way for air travel. She still does not know.

well my knife drawer is in plain view my guns are all in locations i know but few others know so it seemed like a good place to hide it. besides i could have always said it was for gutting deer.

Lies can snowball (a 12 month view)

Lies I wasn't aware of, yet. (I even believed them)
It'll save money over disposable razors.
CA is a better coating for the scales and faster to work with.
I just need one DE for days when I am running late to work or travel.
I need to try a few other DE razor blades to compare for the best shave.

Lies I tell myself. (Because it might be true in some contexts)
I can restore old razors to support my habit.
I need more bench equipment to be able to restore the razors.
I need exotic hardwoods for stability and to resist the bathroom environment.
I can shave with my straight razors in the morning and my DE razors in the evening.

Lies I tell her (Because I only it need this once)
I only need 3 or 4 hones (or 8, maybe 12, but not more than 18) because the vintage razors naturally come dull.
I need to try a couple pre-shave oils for a more satisfying shave.
I have to have Hard Shaving Soap, Soft Shaving Cream, and Liquid Glycerin to be able to make Uberlather.
I NEED 2 or 3 Mugs for my different Hard Shaving Creams, then 1... or maybe 2 scuttles to mix the Uberlather in.

Lies I'll tell anyone that will listen (... and I know they will never believe me because I don't believe it myself)
I need some light, some medium and some dark hard woods because different razors need different shades of wood for the scales.
I will restore and sell over half of the straight razors I own.
I have almost selected the 7... 14... 30 Main Razors that I want to keep and I will sell the others.
Aftershaves and colognes are cheap. Having a variety is cheap. Old Spice is only $7
Pinaud Clubman is only $7
Brut is only $7
Pinaud Virgin Island Bay Rum is only $9
Azzaro is only $10
4711 is only $10
Grey Flannel is only $11
Tabac EDC is only $15
Paco Rabanne is only $15
Knize Ten is only $15
Royall Lyme Sample set is only $25
Royal Copenhagen is only $25
GUERLAIN Habit Rouge is only $35
Caswell Massey No. 6 is only $36
Encre Noire is only $41
D&G Pour Homme is only $45
ANNICK GOUTAL Eau du Sud is only $43
GENDARME Eau de Cologne is only $53
CREED GREEN IRISH TWEED is only $198

This is a true story. I went to the bar one night with some buddies. We were talking to some girls when one asked why I am missing half my arm hair, on my left arm. I told her "I survived double duck cancer in my left arm." She told me I was so brave, and bought me my next drink.

I make an ebay purchase about once a month. Normally two days before it arrives I mention it to my wife. Tonight,
"hunny, there will be another rock arriving this week..."
her- "are you serious? How much?"
"250$"
"..."
"just kidding , only $125"
then she says- "not as bad as 250 I guess"
Works every time

I told myself I would become much cooler. It hasn't happened yet at least not according to my wife, but in my mind I'm John Wayne and that's all that matters.

Just for your information the contest will be judged by me and any other Mods I can get to help. The decision will be based on a few things; how outrageous an entry, how likely it's true, how comical it is, how serious it is.

Really, the way the entry strikes us I guess.