Thread: New Belgian Hone

Originally Posted by Jimbo

LOL!! Oh, now you are *really* going to have to tell us!! I will personally badger you with off-the-wall guess until you do...

Here's my first guess:

You were using it as a stand-in puck in an impromptu game of ice hockey....

James.

Alright, I'll tell. I was trying to create a slurry on my other coticule with very bad technique, using one end with the other kind of hanging off. Pretty dumb huh? I'm lucky it didn't break when they separated.

Originally Posted by Sandcounty

Now you're really gonna hate me...$7

Now that it is broken ......want to double your money ?

Originally Posted by Sandcounty

Alright, I'll tell. I was trying to create a slurry on my other coticule with very bad technique, using one end with the other kind of hanging off. Pretty dumb huh? I'm lucky it didn't break when they separated.

No, that's not dumb at all. I've done much dumber things than that. Like the time I decided to juggle-strop 3 razors, or when I shaved off one of my wife's eyebrows as she slept.

James.

Okay, Jimbo, now you have to tell. Why on earth did you shave one of your wife's eyebrows? Practical joke, revenge, or completely out of your own hair for testing a razor?

Because she was the one who suggested I juggle-strop three razors!!

James.

I can juggle. I can strop. Are you saying you were juggling three razors and stropping them between throws? If she wanted a divorce, why didn't she just say so?

She probably wanted the insurance money!

It's actually a very long, yet strangely interesting, story.

See, I used to be a world champion boulder lifter (big sport in Australia) before I met the wife. Basically, you have this special belt with a clip attachment at the front to which you attach boulders of various sizes. Then you see how far you can climb up a specially designed ladder with the boulder hanging off your hips.

Anyway, my last world championship had left me with the hips of a calcium-starved 105 year old, and the doctors all warned me that another lift could mean the end of my budding hoola-hoop career. So I vowed off the boulder lifting forever. Or so I thought.

After years away from the circuit, I was approached by the head of the BLAA (Boulder Lifters Association of Australia) to undertake a secret boulder lifting mission. It is very Top Secret, so I cannot tell you all the details, but suffice it to say it involved caves, boulders, and an "assassination" of Bin Laden meant to look like a cave collapse.

So I went out and purchased a new boulder lifting belt. My wife found the belt, and to divert her suspicions I told her the attachment on the buckle was for my strop so I could juggle-strop my razors. She was incredulous, of course, and asked to see it done. What was I to do?

Having diverted her attention with a quick trip to the ER, I set off on my mission but it went bad, real bad. I became "known". Australian intelligence had discovered that Bin Laden's people had a superstition about women with only one-eyebrow. So to protect my wife, I shaved her eyebrow off in her sleep.

I slept on the couch for months after that. But it was the deep, satisfying sleep of a man who knew he did what he had to do, and would do it again!

James.

Okay, well, thanks for clearing that up.


Sandcountry, good luck with your gluing endeavor. At least now you know that things could have gone worse. You might have been recruited into a secret boulder lifting mission. Now you know you got off easy and you also know, even if you are wearing a special belt, you need to keep a tight grip on your rocks!

Originally Posted by Utopian

Okay, well, thanks for clearing that up.


Sandcountry, good luck with your gluing endeavor. At least now you know that things could have gone worse. You might have been recruited into a secret boulder lifting mission. Now you know you got off easy and you also know, even if you are wearing a special belt, you need to keep a tight grip on your rocks!

Utopian, you need to take up a career as the guy who writes "morals to the story" - very pithy!

James.

PS - Sorry for the sandcountry.