And an opportunist is no longer thirsty.
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Lol expecily with vodka in the glass lol
George Carlin's take on the glass-half-full meme..
Some people say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty.. I say the glass is too big!
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Tack
Tried a different name on the bathroom mirror last night for the morning - didn't work.
If you loan someone twenty dollars and never see him again, it was probably worth it.
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My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him, "Don't be Sicily".
The Pope is a lot like Dr. Who. He never dies, just keeps getting replaced by white men.
"Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things. One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, dirty thing on the face of the earth and you should save it for someone you love." --Butch Hancock
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When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music" but when I do it I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
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It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
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The cost of living has just gone up another dollar a quart.
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ps- Come on guys, I'm posting something every other day; tomorrow it's your turn.
This thread might be dead or it could be just resting. ;)
Where there's a quip there's a way
And as such will stay
It will not be bound
While I'm around
So quip away
If not every day
And in quip we trust
As all men must.
Ew, ew a Python reference.. that could be dangerous but I guess we're OK as long as Ernest Scribbler does not post from the grave.
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No, the jeans do not make you look fat.
I went to a Grateful Dead concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.
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“It is always easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.” ~ Alfred Adler
jim
"Excitement leaped in my breast like a puppy, enthusiastic and more than a little naïve.” ~Roger Zelazny
1954 Movie poster for "The French Line"
See Jane Russell in 3-D; She'll Knock Both Your Eyes Out!
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"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours." ~Richard Bach
"The problem with the world today is that many people are educated far beyond their intelligence."
~ Jerry Clower
Things are getting worse faster than we can lower our standards.
A perfect business deal is when: Each person shuffles away closely clutching their booty and thinks " Oooh did I screw him!"
~Geezer
My math book recently saw a psychiatrist -- it kept complaining that it had too many problems.
Bill Gates: I went to the bank for a loan
Melinda: But we've got enough money!
Bill: Naah, they needed the loan.
grasshopopotomus:
A creature that can leap to a tremendous height.. once.
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"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
~Richard
I hate when people preach general rules and then make an exception for themselves. Obviously, that does not apply to me.
“Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." ~Pablo Picasso
So what is the speed of Dark?
I don't know the speed of dark but i did know a guy who was so fast that after he turned out the light he would be in bed and asleep before the room got dark.
Sic Transit Gloria Thursdi
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Tack