Thread: Lets hear your favorite quotes. Funny, serious, even political cheapshots welcome !

Q: Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees?

A: The Germans like to march in the shade.


badabump-bsssh. Thank you, I'll be here all night...

"Either with it or upon it." Spartan mothers to their sons in regards to their shields


"I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it."

- Thomas Jefferson

On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

The Narrator (Edward Norton), Fight Club

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned-

Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Damn, Those are dark. I'll post some that aren't so much. J.

Johnny Dangerously: The name's Dangerously. Johnny Dangerously.
Lil: Did you know you're last name is an adverb?


You farging icehole!
-Vermin

Couldn't resist a couple from my namesake movie. J.

Originally Posted by Jonedangerousli

Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation.

but everywhere I look I see razor porn ................
I want to touch every one I see, but I can't.........
I want them to belong to me, and no one else.....
so sleek and sensuous, so shiny and perfect.....

mmmmmmmmmm.............. pivot........

I'm gonna have to get back with you guys a little later.......



.

All truth is safe and nothing else is safe; and whoever keeps back the truth, or withholds it from men, from motives of expediency, is either a coward or a criminal or both.
-- Max Müller

I once posted this on the bulletin board of a place I was working at and it was promptly taken down. The general manager told me he thought it would offend people.

I've always wanted a sign that says this, but anyway, from the movie "Fast Times At Ridgemont High,"
"You see that sign over there Spicoli? No shirt, no shoes..." "Nooo dice!"

Barney Fife: If there's anything that upsets me, it's having people say I'm sensitive.


Oscar Madison: from The Odd Couple
"You leave little notes on my pillow. Told you a-hundred-fifty-eight times I cannot stand little notes on my pillow. "We are all out of cornflakes. F.U." Took me three hours to figure out "F.U." was Felix Ungar."




Justin

Never argue with a fool as onlookers can't tell who it is.

A man has to believe in something.

I believe I'll have another beer.

Some guy on the radio 4-25-07


.................................................. ..............................................G.W. ........................