Thread: my son is smoking pot

im inpartal on pot, but i started doing hardcer drugs real soon i was a heroine junkkie. how do i stop my own son?????

I'm sorry to hear about your son adm. :-( There are many factors that can affect treatment of your son so I would recommend getting in touch with a professional in your area that is trained to help in chemical abuse. AA/NA inter groups are also excellent resources and can help guide you. Your son is very lucky to have a dad that cares so much. Best of luck.

i dont know if you will stop him, just make sure he is open with you, its better you know what he is doing. I would tell him about your experiences and explain why he shouldn't get into harder drugs.

It could be a phase man, most teenagers, especially nowadays like getting high, eating doritos and watching tv. I know I did but I gave it up at the age of 19 to do better things because for me it made me lazy and I wasn't doing anything with my life. At a certain point I think people either grow out of it, or they're smoking doobies for life. The problem with pot is that it's a gateway drug. I was trying other drugs after I started smoking pot but thank God I didn't get hooked on anything.

I would just sit him down and let him know you care about him and love him. On the other hand you could go out and find some street junkies and drive by them with him explaining to him that is what the drugs lead to and ask him if he wants to live his life with a sign that says "Hungry Hungry Hobo" with a bottle of listerine. In any case I think you'll know the right thing to do, after all he is your boy.

Well for me it depends on how old your son is and how much pot he is smoking. On the west coast there is a very high tolerance for people and left handed cigarettes. I too have smoked more than my fair share. The issue in my mind is not the pot, I would have the same concerns about drinking. To me it is all about responsible consumption. My kids are all adults now, but when they were young and in their early teens and probably preteens I would talk to them about responsible consumption and what that means. At this point some of the kids have the odd wobbly pop and some choose not to participate, one of them smokes on occasion but the others do not, but everyone experimented. So to me, and I choose to not consume due to my inability to consume responsibly, it is fairly complex, however I do believe open, and honest communication with our children from a very young age is important. It helps a lot when these issues come up.

Yes keep the lines of communication open and honest. You can tell a kid not to spit in the fan but you know they have to see for themselves.
He has to be the one to control or stop it. You can only guide him through the process.

I'd be looking into his friends and who he's hanging with. That will probably tell you if this is a harmless phase or a prelude into something more serious.

The fact you had a drug problem could mean there is a genetic factor too.

We all smoked dope in the 60s,nobody I hung with went to other drugs,as above is most likly just a phase in his life.
Would rather my kids smoke MJ than cigs and Vodka.

Originally Posted by pixelfixed

We all smoked dope in the 60s,nobody I hung with went to other drugs,as above is most likly just a phase in his life.
Would rather my kids smoke MJ than cigs and Vodka.

True but the pot today is WAY different. They have wax which is like hash on steroids and synthetic marijuana that is killing people and burning their lungs. Even the good stuff from yesteryear would be considered ditch weed by the kids today.

Three things you can do:

reinforce his internal locus of control. He should be comfortable growing into making his own choices about how he will behave and what substances he will choose to take into his body. Teenagers are too easily swayed by their peers or popular advertising or any number of external influences outside themselves. So are adults.

Reinforce his sense of self-esteem. Drugs (read any addictive behavior and the most common is political power by the way) are external to his sense of how much he values himself. Kids/adults who do not see themselves as worth something are more susceptible.

Reinforce his sense of identity. "I am different from other people because..." but this also ties into his self-esteem and making his own choices. And then being responsible for those choices.

I suggest all parents begin in preadolescence to prevent the problem in teen years. If not, start when you can. Strengthen these three and you can protect anyone from an addiction. They will not work magically and may take time until a eureka moment occurs and he sees the value of these things for himself. It will not prevent experimentation but can support the idea that "I don't need drugs to make me more valuable to my friends and this is not what I imagined growing up to be as an adult (in the gutter etc.)" It also requires loving support from those who care about him. But if he turns down the wrong path, you have to know the difference between caring about him and caring for him. One attitude will eventually free him if he lives through it, the other will simply maintain the addictive process.

There are any number of threats to validity in the studies that suggest a genetic connection and I discount those heavily. Addictive behavior always involves voluntary muscles (biceps).