Thread: Updates...

Thats great man, congratulations. Just one, well two pieces of advice:

1) When your wife to be askes you about which flowers, colors, cake, etc... you would like at your wedding/reception, (even though you probably wont give two buckets of monkey piss) give her an answer. Then when she disagrees with you and goes with the exact opposite on every single thing she asks, just go with it and act interested. The last two weeks prior to our wedding, we wanted to kill each other. We've been married for 12 years this year and 11 of them have been in the USMC so if you ever need some advice (and you will) just ask.

2) Buy all the razors, hones, strops or what ever toys you want now.

Just so you know, the only food that has been scientifically proven to ruin your sex life is....wedding cake!

Seriously though, I wish all the best for the both of you.

Well done sir - all the best to both of you! It's a fine institution - I liked it so much the first time I decided to do it again! (Well the first time was good till we went in a different direction after a decade!)

I surprised my 2nd wife with the question when we were trekking in Patagonia - had the ring made by a friend before we went for the month. Funny thing was she nearly stole the thunder when about a week before I had it planned (hogmanay) she started to ask if I would ever marry her - just her and me in a tent! I had to bat her off with a 'let's not talk about it now we're on holiday' kinda line. It all worked out in the end, she got a fair surprise as the bells went in a wee pub in Chile - and I had a good idea of what her answer was going to be following the earlier discussion...

Rock on brother man!

so we're all invited right?

Congrats. Your AD's will be under control now.

bj

Funny what 24 hours can do. I'm not engaged anymore. She kinda freaked out a bit. Called it off.

I take the ring back to the jeweler tomorrow.

What's a guy to do?

I wouldn't take the ring back until at least after the next time you talk to her, or tomorrow whichever comes later.

Well, I guess I'm too late to say Congrats........give her a little time and see what happens Luke. We're all here for ya!

Originally Posted by kasperitis

Funny what 24 hours can do. I'm not engaged anymore. She kinda freaked out a bit. Called it off.

I take the ring back to the jeweler tomorrow.

What's a guy to do?

It is a big decision not only for you but for her also! Give her a little time to come around. I wouldn't take the ring back myself until I had a nice talk with her to find out whats going on! Make sure she is in the mood to talk though or it could end in disaster.

(Mark my husband wanted me to write you a female perspective...)
Put the ring on your desk in her plain view. Let her talk to you about it. But I wouldn't bring it up. If she sees you still have the ring then she will know where your heart is and you don't have to say a thing. If she ever wants it you can give it to her and if she doesn't let it go. Can't get married unless you are both very sure.

Originally Posted by JMS

(Mark my husband wanted me to write you a female perspective...)
Put the ring on your desk in her plain view. Let her talk to you about it. But I wouldn't bring it up. If she sees you still have the ring then she will know where your heart is and you don't have to say a thing. If she ever wants it you can give it to her and if she doesn't let it go. Can't get married unless you are both very sure.

To add a male twist to that female perspective:

Don't take the ring back because if she changes her mind and you have to go get a ring it had better be the exact same one. She has every flaw in that diamond and every streak on that gold memorized so you had better have it for her if she wants it. Even a bigger one wont do at this point.

Originally Posted by JMS

Make sure she is in the mood to talk though or it could end in disaster.

+1 on this.

Whenever there is a real issue I want to talk about (as in, me and my wife disagree) I have to wait for the right time to bring it up so that we can discuss it in a non volatile mood.

Trying to discuss things at the wrong time will lead to a disaster. You have to learn to read body language and understand it. I wish it was different, but there is nothing I can do about it.
Wait for the right moment and then talk until you both know where you're at.

Also, my wife really doesn't like surprises. I have learned not to try and surprise her with things out of the blue because she really doesn't like it.
When we decided to marry we talked about it in advance.
I only formally proposed the day before our wedding.

the thing with jumping this on her is that you've had months to think about it, and she has to come up with the answer on the spot.

I hope everything turns out ok.