Thread: I just had a very profound experience!

Thank you for your considerate reply VeeDubb65, I really appreciate you taking the time to respond in such a detailed manner. Childhood demons can be a real problem; however, I have always just reframed the experiences in my mind – I think this is why they have had little influence over my present state of mind.

However, I feel I should explain something. I have recently started seeing my father again; however, this has brought up some unpleasant reflection. I’m very happy with how my life has turned out, but I would still like to make my peace with the man. I don’t think it would cause me any emotional harm to just leave these feelings alone, but I intend to try and deal with them anyway, because as Jordan pointed out, it is healthy.

The strange thing is I’m not sure if the technique helped me let go of the emotion. The physical feeling though, was extremely alien. The emotion became irrelevant in terms of the experience.

I think you have a good solid system for categorizing your emotions. I would say I have 99% of my life under control, though I think I may be tempted to replace the word control – more of an understanding of my place in the whole scheme of things and the knowledge that I can develop these situations if necessary.

I’m really not sure what this technique – if it can be called that – even is. Though I can honestly say I have never experienced anything like it. Very strange stuff!

Thanks again for a great post!

If you've got 99% of your life under control, then I'd say you're doing better than 99% of your peers.


Seriously though, just remember with the whole reestablishing contact thing, that your father is who he is, and was who he was (which may or may not be the same thing) and there's not a single thing you can do about either. It's an accept it at face value or let it go situation.

Either way, best of luck on your journey.

That is a classic meditation technique and it works wonderfully in any context.

One example I like starts with the basic breathing meditation where you focus on your breathing. Don't regulate it or anything just focus on it, listen to it as you breath in and out. Feel your body respond as you take in air then exhale it. Once you feel the pattern and have fully relaxed imagine your body as a big balloon. Filling with air completely when you breath in then emptying completely when you breath out.

I am no mystic but when I get to that state I can feel my mind/body expelling the stress of the day. I imagine all the tension from the day being pushed out of my body. As if it was water pouring in with each breath, washing thru me then flushing out the stress. In some cases (much like the exercise you did) I picture individual instances or situations that caused me stress.

Like I said I'm no mystic and trying to explain it is hard but I'm not focusing on the stress of the day but on the breathing. imagining the stress and tension being washed away by it. After five to ten minutes of that I feel like I've had a nice relaxing nap and am ready to take on the rest of my day.

It is amazing what taking a break, closing your eyes and relaxing can do for your mind. Listen to your body, let your mind wander free (almost like sleeping) and see where it takes you.

Oh duh.... the alien feeling you experienced is most likely something that has been repressed for so long you can't even recognize it. Not so much the event, as it is what triggered it when you focused on it, but how you feel or felt about it. It takes a lot of soul searching to be able to see something from so far in our past and really deal with it. To understand the emotions involved and what they've mutated into after so long being repressed.

I am fond of negative feelings. i would never want to let them go, they are so helpful for getting motivated and accomplishing things.

Originally Posted by jockeys

I am fond of negative feelings. i would never want to let them go, they are so helpful for getting motivated and accomplishing things.

I don't know that letting go means getting rid of them exactly (IMHO) - integrating them or processing them so one does not deal with them in a maladaptive, unconscious or reactive way would be the goal. If you use them for positive motivation - and are aware of it, that is one way of integration I suppose.

Jordan

Originally Posted by jnich67

I don't know that letting go means getting rid of them exactly (IMHO) - integrating them or processing them so one does not deal with them in a maladaptive, unconscious or reactive way would be the goal. If you use them for positive motivation - and are aware of it, that is one way of integration I suppose.

Jordan

well, the way i see it, you've got two choices:
you can let the negative feelings just fester inside you, ruining your day and maybe eventually your health,
OR you can put 'em to work and use your anger or whatever to accomplish things to improve your life.

example:
let's say one of my coworkers does something slimy and backstabs me. ****es me right off. i can:
a. sit around moping and fuming, and not do anything about it. then i will go home and be in an awful mood and my wife will have to put up with my irate behavior.
b. use my anger to one up/ humiliate him at the next meeting or whatever by using my focused rage to work faster and get more done than him. the satisfaction of dazzling the boss with my fine oneupsmanship will see me going home in a victorious mood, and my wife will get to deal with happy jockeys and not cranky jockeys.
or, i suppose,
c. do some hippy meditation thing (no offense, anyone) which does nothing to resolve the situation with the antagonist, just makes me less cranky. when i go home that evening, my wife won't find me cranky, but she won't respect me, either.

my point is, rather than just wasting all your anger or whatever, you should use it (or use it up) to improve the quality of your life in a constructive way. even if it's just beating a punching bag, it's still a good workout and helps your feel better physically and emotionally. i see that transcendental stuff as an awful waste of something potentially useful.

I'm on the same page as Jockey.

Red