Thread: i am no longer ungainfully employed as a nanny.

gentlemen and ladies of srp.

not really sure why i'm posting this.. i just needed to say something.. or i feel i may self destruct..

i had been working as a nanny of 5 for the last 2 years.. slowly over the course of those 2 years i stopped receiving pay and was basically just waiting for the parents to get paid so they could pay me.. (they work in the film industry)

then i somehow ended up having to be a full time single parent to the children while their parents we're always working.. so much to the point that i ended up living with the children and their grandmother while their mom stayed at her friend's house.. often going weeks on end without seeing their mom.

i'm not sure how this ended up happening.. but eventually the children's mother began to treat me like i was one of her children.. she spoke down to me and basically treated me with an enormous amount of disrespect.. i just became her person to release anger on..

this morning was the final straw.. after being verbally assaulted by the kid's mom.. i told her i was leaving.. i packed up everything i could and left..i hopped on the closest bus and started making phone calls to whoever i could to figure out what to do.. i had enough money to pay a weeks rent at a hostel.. and i now have 10 bucks to my name.. i plan on selling some dvds tomorrow to help me get through the rest of the week.. and i'm answered just about every ad on craigslist under the gigs section.. everything from moving help to data entry.. i'm sure i'll be fine.. and i feel a bit of relief now..

but i have this crazy feeling i just can't shake.. leaving the children was so hard.. i wasn't even able to say goodbye.. i just looked towards them and started crying uncontrollably. i ended up just walking out the door without saying a word to them.. i was just choking on my tears. advice anyone?

also.. does anyone in or around los angeles have any job leads for me?

Man... ... I wish I had words for you, or work for that matter, but I have neither. For what it's worth in the meanwhile, I wish you all the best and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Dave

thank you very much.. i know i made the right move.. but i just can't shake this feeling.. i'm sure things will get better with time.. as for now.. i just keep breaking down and crying every few minutes.. i really do love those children and it's tearing me apart.. i just don't know how to feel being away from them.

I truly feel sorry for the children, now they seem to have no parent whatsoever. If the parents had been real you would have never have been this close. You have borne more than your share of their responsibility. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do for the kids, please do your best to look after yourself. God bless!

thank you.. i do feel as though i've abandoned them.. but i know that i can't take care of them if i'm not fully well.. and having to live as i've been isn't something i can do anymore.. the oldest child is turning 13 next month and i feel as if she'll be taking over parental duties.

this is so sad and i don't think there is anything i can do.

I am sorry you have been put in a situation where the only choice to make was the one you made. I have no words of wisdom for you, but I do respect the choice you made. You have to do what you feel is right, and hopefully the children that you have raised and cared for will understand in time that this is for the best.

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation Victor, it must be very hard to leave children who have become like your own.

I really wish there was something I could do or offer in support. I can only say that it takes a lot of courage to make a decision like this and I know its one you wont have taken lightly.

Please dont feel that you have let the children down, thats absolutely not the case. Its one thing to be a paid nanny and entirely another to be an unpaid nanny who's on the receiving end of verbal abuse.

I agree with Ron that you should get a lawyer and chase for what you are owed. Its not acceptable to do work on the understanding you will be paid and then not receive the money.

All the best, God bless and good luck for this next chapter!

Victor,

This must be a very difficult situation for you. However, it sounds like you are a resourceful and motivated person, which leads me to the conclusion that although currently things are less than stellar, you will find an equilibrium again.

I applaud you for your bold move in protecting yourself, and that is the most important thing for you and those children. They may also be hurt from your departure, and may be so for some time. Yet, as a teacher, I can attest to the fact that all people, young and old, can read between the lines. While you were staying at the house and continuing to be disrespected, the kids may have (I'm not sure because I wasn't there) been picking up on the message that it's ok to treat people like that. Having left, the message is now clear (in due time for them) that it is not ok to do so. They may one day look on you, and see from their memories your strength of character and will power.

It takes an incredible person to stand in the face of ill treatment and say "I'm not going to take this."

Congratulations to you, and on extracting yourself from a belittling scenario.

Nathan

From what I have seen you have been in a very unfortunate situation and you have been used and taken advantage of. I think you are better off now and down the road you will realize it.

As far as money goes forget it. if you took them to court you need to pay a lawyer and what would you get? Did you have a written contract or if it was verbal do you have witnesses who could testify? Even if you get a judgement against them basically it's worth the same as toilet paper. Then you have to hire an investigator to search for assets they might have.Individuals are very limited as far as recouping things. You can't garnish wages or seize property or attach accounts. You might be able to put a lien like a mechanics lean on their property if they own any and get something when they sell if they ever do and have equity in the property.

I would just chalk it up to experience and move on with your life.

thank you everyone.. i received another call from the kids father this morning.. once again apologizing for the entire situation and letting me know that i could come back and the door was always open and everything else.. he mentioned he'd be giving me some money as soon as he gets some.. i'm not going to count on it.. but if it does.. then fine.. if not.. at least i'll get what i was expecting.

los angeles is a big place.. i'm sure there's money to be made quickly somewhere..