Thread: Insane Mass Stupidity to the 10th Power

So there I was sitting in my cubicle, pounding out my latest best seller. When my buddy strolls up and says, "Hey Dude, check out this business card." He handed me a business card that looked pretty normal, Name of the company, proprietors names, address phone number, etc. then down at the bottom it read, "Crafts, Candles, Geese Clothing." Naturally being the eternal optimist, I thought the last item referred to goose down jackets and such...NOPE. Then I thought to myself, "Why (and indeed how) would anyone put clothing on a goose!?" I'm no farm boy but most of the geese I've seen are fairly cantancorous creatures and I can't see any of them tolerating having their wings pulled through some kind of a ridiculous coat type contraption. I was wrong again.

Now friends, I'm a man's man amongst a group of men, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, it ain't my first barbecue, choose your cliche but I've been around. Generally, I don't shock easy. I've seen (and yes, in some cases been first in line to participate in) appalling acts of human stupidity but this one totally takes the prize. CLOTHES FOR CERAMIC LAWN GEESE!!!!!!!! I doubt there are enough narcotics on the planet for most normal people to even come up with such an idea. Imagine having so much money that you have to go out and purchase wardrobes for your $#&*% lawn ornaments! OH THE HUMANITY!!!

http://www.gooseclothesgalore.com/?g...FVAD2godTR1wxQ

Looks like the 20-23 inch geese certainly have grounds for a class action discrimination law suit.

Why save your money when you can waste it? On the other hand I once saw a story where a guy put orange vests on his deer lawn ornaments during hunting season which I thought was funny.

Where I live if you put your lawn animals out there nude, you can get picketed.

There is a shop front downtown that has geese in the window and they get changed regularly at least every season and holidays.

So I was thinking about this during my evening PT and it occurred to me that if your wife was into this kind of stuff it would be a glorious Get Out of Jail Free card for when RAD hits you hard. Picture this dialog:

SWMBO: A package came for you in the mail today. It was that stupid straight razor with the two little ducks near the blade thingy.

Me: Oh, Right On, my Dubl Duck Golden Edge is here beautiful razor, never been used, still in the box, my pants are getting tighter as we speak, Honeybunch, I think I need some alone time with my new razor.

SWMBO: Wow, that does look a lot prettier than all the others. What did you pay for it?

Me: Oh, I practically stole it, the guy gave it to me for just $150

SWMBO: A hundred and fifty bucks! Have you lost your mind!?

Me (with a stupid smirk on my face): No, when I've totally lost my mind, I'll know it because I'll spend $40 for a stupid Uncle Sam costume for the ceramic #$#@ goose out in the yard.

SWMBO: But don't you like our yard to look nice?

ME: It looked just fine with naked geese. Don't you like your husband to look nice? I hear those Dubl Ducks are great shavers.

SWMBO: That reminds me, it's nearly August and our goose still has the Uncle Sam costume on. I better go out and change him or the neighbors will think we're rednecks.

ME: Yeah, you better go handle that, I wouldn't want the neighbors to think I'm a redneck. CASE CLOSED: She goes to the yard to piss around with her geese, her credibility to complain about my expenditure of money on functional items is gone, I get alone time with my new razor and everyone is happy. Genius, pure genius

Originally Posted by 1OldGI

So I was thinking about this during my evening PT and it occurred to me that if your wife was into this kind of stuff it would be a glorious Get Out of Jail Free card for when RAD hits you hard. Picture this dialog:

SWMBO: A package came for you in the mail today. It was that stupid straight razor with the two little ducks near the blade thingy.

Me: Oh, Right On, my Dubl Duck Golden Edge is here beautiful razor, never been used, still in the box, my pants are getting tighter as we speak, Honeybunch, I think I need some alone time with my new razor.

SWMBO: Wow, that does look a lot prettier than all the others. What did you pay for it?

Me: Oh, I practically stole it, the guy gave it to me for just $150

SWMBO: A hundred and fifty bucks! Have you lost your mind!?

Me (with a stupid smirk on my face): No, when I've totally lost my mind, I'll know it because I'll spend $40 for a stupid Uncle Sam costume for the ceramic #$#@ goose out in the yard.

SWMBO: But don't you like our yard to look nice?

ME: It looked just fine with naked geese. Don't you like your husband to look nice? I hear those Dubl Ducks are great shavers.

SWMBO: That reminds me, it's nearly August and our goose still has the Uncle Sam costume on. I better go out and change him or the neighbors will think we're rednecks.

ME: Yeah, you better go handle that, I wouldn't want the neighbors to think I'm a redneck. CASE CLOSED: She goes to the yard to piss around with her geese, her credibility to complain about my expenditure of money on functional items is gone, I get alone time with my new razor and everyone is happy. Genius, pure genius

Two thumbs up! lol

I don't understand how the thread title relates to its content

Originally Posted by holli4pirating

I don't understand how the thread title relates to its content

Something to do with paying for desgner clothes for lawn ornaments, I think.

This thread got me to pondering on well dressed lawn ornaments when I was struck by this idea along that same vein. How about producing naked garden gnomes and bringing out a line of clothing to fit. That way these same geniuses that are dressing their geese could outfit their gnomes with seasonal clothing which could be sold at the same place that sells the gnomes. I'm just throwing this out there for anyone who wants to take the bit in their teeth and start a designer line for our little cement friends. It could be worth a $million.

Regards - Walt