Thread: Problems? Ask Aunty Jimbo.

I've always said a problem aired is a problem shared. We are lucky, gentlemen, to have re secured the undeniable talents of my Aunty Jimbo - agony aunt to the stars (and lesser people like you as well). If you have a problem, if you have no one else to turn to, if your life has gone slightly askew or fully down the toilet, Aunty Jimbo is here to help. Don't be shy, there's nothing she hasn't seen or heard over the years. So without further ado, here's Aunty Jimbo!


Hello my dear, dear friends. We have two poor souls with problems today.

Today's first problem comes from "Discombobulated" in Wagga Wagga. He writes: "Dear Aunty Jimbo please help me. I seem to have a colony of rabbits living in my butt! It is quite uncomfortable. What can I do?"

Aunty Jimbo: "Dear Warren. If I were you I would change my name. Why invite trouble?"


Our second problem concerns "Big Deck" in Geneva. "Dear Aunty Jimbo", he writes. "I have an enormous deck. Oiling it up is a mammoth operation but I feel I cannot ask my friends to help. My wife was very willing to lend a hand in the early days, but now seems less enthusiastic. About 3 months ago in desperation I lacquered it, but it went a strange colour and is starting to crack. I am at my wits end! Help me Aunty Jimbo, please!"

Aunty Jimbo: "Dear 'Big Deck'. I would suggest you get a selection of strippers and use them generously on your deck. Be careful when handling strippers as some can be bad for your health if ingested. Keep your wife away from the strippers at all times for safety reasons. Good luck, and remember to always use a high quality oil to get the maximum benefit from your deck."

Aunty Jimbo will be back next week to tackle more of your problems. Until then, dear reader, hoo roo!

James.

Originally Posted by Jimbo

Aunty Jimbo: "Dear Warren. If I were you I would change my name. Why invite trouble?"

My middle name is warren. I don't get it. must be an auzzie thing upside down under.

Originally Posted by jaswarb

My middle name is warren. I don't get it. must be an auzzie thing upside down under.

A warren is where rabbits live...

Originally Posted by ryanjewell

A warren is where rabbits live...

Maybe where you live....I was brought up shooting rabbits and the gun wasn't aimed at my.......well okay I understand but I don't have to like. Something ain't right about them auzzies anyway. The whole country started as either cops or robbers and they all live upside down, drink too much beer, surf, and play with a lopsided football wearing no safety equipment.

Dear Aunty Jimbo:

Under what conditions can a 'door' be a 'jar'?

I'm stumped!

Originally Posted by ace

Dear Aunty Jimbo:

Under what conditions can a 'door' be a 'jar'?

I'm stumped!

My truck say they're a jar at times. Don't look any different to me.

Hey, you guys, this is a serious question. I need to be un-stumped.

Originally Posted by ace

Dear Aunty Jimbo:

Under what conditions can a 'door' be a 'jar'?

I'm stumped!

Dear "Stumped" in Virginia,

You are correct to be confused about this issue given your obvious shortcomings. I've known many men (Uncle Jimbo among them, God rest his dear soul) who have adored a jar, who have abjured a door or who have jarred a sore boar in a door. The trick is to embrace your inner homophonic ganglion and let it out for the world to see! Bee bowled and stand up and look the world in the I!!

Aunty Jimbo.

Dear Aunty Jimbo,


So I was just yankin' my cord the other day, when the bloody thing snapped right off at the halfway mark. It left me with just sixteen inches to play with, which is absolutely useless to anyone in my opinion. Lucky for me the local mower shop had more cord in stock. Never would have got the lawn done otherwise. So thank me lucky stars I don't need your help...


Mick

Originally Posted by jaswarb

Maybe where you live....I was brought up shooting rabbits and the gun wasn't aimed at my.......well okay I understand but I don't have to like. Something ain't right about them auzzies anyway. The whole country started as either cops or robbers and they all live upside down, drink too much beer, surf, and play with a lopsided football wearing no safety equipment.

I am almost an Aussie! I live in Texas! Can I be an honorary Aussie?