Thread: In All Seriousness...

Originally Posted by Cangooner

Keep writing my friend - the world needs more poetry.

Let's hear YOUR poem Cangooooooner! We Insist!!

Originally Posted by Jimbo

I dunno Carl. Let me be candid. It doesn't rhyme. First rule of poetry. I think you need to try harder. Look, here's an example of what I mean:

"There was movement in my stomach,
For the food was gurgling around.
And the chilis from last night's dinner were taking part.
They were making painful cramps,
And a weird, bubbling sound.
And I knew there'd be follow through, if I should fart."

And so on and so forth. That was the beginning of one I penned a while ago called "Disaster on Public Transport".

James.

I dont know whats good or bad, but I know what I like
Author~Author

Oh well then, if you liked that here's part 2:

"Neither silent nor a squeaker,
Dare I pass through puckered anus,
And to let them out, in others, I disparage.
And the train was rather busy,
And the consequences? Heinous!
Though on the bright side, release would clear the carriage!"

James.

You are a true renaissance man Jimbo

Here I sit
On the Pooper
giving birth
to a Maine State Trooper.

Originally Posted by sharptonn

Let's hear YOUR poem Cangooooooner! We Insist!!

Late September
Night descends earlier now
Except in Oz
There days grow, spring arriving
Carl, newly recovered
His heart on paper
Jimbo, poetic pedagogue
Rhyming, rhyming, rhyming

Keep it classy guys. This one's walking a fine line....

Yes, I started out all cultured and now it's turned rapidly to toilet humor. Pull my finger.

Seriously though, thanks for the comments. I need to work on it. I want it to be a bit Walt Whitmanish, conjuring up thoughts of a great healthy nation, like early America. And I want it to continue to praise certain things, but then the reader realises that somewhere along the way they're now reading about the less favorable aspects (segregation). I think the second to last line should move further up...

I would love to play, but as someone once said,

JimR is so skillful with prose,
the lassies just shed off their clothes!
Holli's doing just fine,
but when Lee starts to rhyme,
we're all left holding our nose!

Originally Posted by Ryan82

Keep it classy guys. This one's walking a fine line....

Cmon, Ryan! Have you visited the Joke Thread lately? This is CLEAN! (and fun!)