Thread: Adventures is shaving- How NOT to shave

I have decided to start this thread. Initially the first three posts were in a different thread, but because of the frequency of the incidents and the fact that they were getting off topic, I have decided to move them to their own thread.

Its also a place for me to post for the amusement of you guys

And so I can reach a wider audience

Let me tell you about the shave I just had.

I have only one razor. A Dovo 5/8 Black star. I decided on trying the Cavendish Black (TGQ) to try and further my opinion on it. I ran a nice hot bath, bubble bath and classic FM on the radio. A box of chocolate truffles and I soak for 30 mins. Gawd, i'm such a girl.

Finally I get out. Nice soft face, all ready for the shave. Eric Satie is being played whilst I carefully strop. I love that piece. Then, disaster strikes!

I realize I dont have my shaving brush! NOOOO!!!!

I try my hardest and make to by making a lather in my hands. It turns out alright as it happens. Note to self- brush is ALWAYS far superior.

So I have lathered and I have stropped and I pick up the razor. I raise it to the right cheek (my dominant hand) and begin the shave. Its beautiful. The smells are GORGEOUS. The sweet scent of the Cavendish Black surrounds me and i'm the king of the world. I finish the right half of my face and neck and its BBS. Soft as you like and soooo yummy. I turn the razor to my left cheek.

Now maybe it was the sound of Tchaikovsky that now surrounded my ears. Maybe it was the heat that made my head swim. Maybe even it was the gorgeous smell of the Cavendish making me feel like I could do absolutely anything....

I felt it Immediately and I knew what i'd done. I knew it would be bad. I didnt really appreciate how bad it would be.

In a matter of nanoseconds a bright red line of crimson THREE INCHES LONG appears on my cheek. I **** you not this is the worst cut i've ever made, seen or heard of from a straight razor. And the PAIN!!!!

It took me five minutes to stem the blood loss. I must have used up a small rainforrest of toilet roll whilst I looked for my styptic. Thank GAWD I had one!

10 minutes on and the wound has now stopped bleeding. I feel kinda giddy as I type. Is that the Cavendish Black or the blood loss? I look like i've been in a knife fight.

Today I shaved with a TGQ soap which I am now coming to the end of. No problems so far.

However let me tell you what happened as I shaved. Not the shave itself per se... you see usually i'll run a basin of hot water and soak my brush while I strop my razor. This I did today and gently put my freshly stropped razor down (open) on the corner of the bath- it would be safe enough. I took the brush from the basin and held the TGQ Bay Rum in my left hand, making a lather with the brush in my right. This way I worked up the soap and started to apply to my face.

A scratching noise came from behind me... I had the sensation that the cat had entered the bathroom and turned to my left to see he had passed behind me. The scratching noise was him...

At the bath...

Getting ready to jump up....

The following sequence of events all happened in the space of 3 or 4 seconds but it felt like an age. The cat jumped. He landed awquardly. He knocked a hairbrush....

WHICH IN TURN KNOCKED MY OPEN RAZOR OFF THE BATH

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" I shouted as my ONLY straight razor fell to the floor. The cat bolted, fearing for its life from me and from the razor. The razor tumbled and tumbled for what seemed like FOREVER....

It landed THANK GAWD with a soft bump on my wifes slippers.

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU

I'll miss that cat.

So time today for another shave. I put my iPod in its speaker and i'm listening to KT Tunstall. I strop my razor (50 times each way) and lie it open on the side of the bath as per usual.

Now those of you who have read my recent post will see folly straight away, but I was never one to learn from mistakes.

I then turn on the shower to get it nice and hot. I put the plug in the basin, drop my brush into the basin and turn on the hot tap. I do this to ensure my brush is lovely and soft for when it comes to the lathering stage.

Remembering that last time I forgot to do so, I put a small towel down on the floor, because we dont have a shower mat, and last time my huge feet soaked the bathroom floor.

I turn and step into the shower. The steam has already steamed up the clear perspex screens. No matter. I step in and begin my shower.

About 3-4 minutes into my shower I look out. I rub the perspex. The cat is on the side of the bath, sniffing my open razor.

Predictable?

"GERROFF!!!" I yell, throwing a cloth in his general direction. <NB> It flies past him, like I intended, but has the desired effect. He scarpers.

A few minutes later I look outside the shower again and this time the cat is not next to my razor. Instead he is sitting on the towel. 'Oh well' I figure 'Better than at my razor, and he'll move when I get out.

Fast-forward 5 minutes. I look outside again and the cat has moved from the towel. Instead of the cat there is a wet patch on the towel. 'Dammit!' I think 'The cat has peed!'. Then I realize that whilst we have two cats, this is the one who IS litter trained. The other one is currently outside. Hmmmm....

The observant among you will already know what has happened.

I open the shower to see the cat outside the bathroom looking at the towel he was sitting on. It is SOAKING wet. As if in comic fashion I follow this water to its source. Yep, you guessed it: The basin tap is still running.

Water is p*ssing all down the edges of the basin which has LONG since overflowed. My wifes slippers (the saviours of my razor from my previous post) are now SOAKING wet, as are two cleaning products, two packets of toilet roll and the bathroom bin.

Water is EVERYWHERE.

Initially i'm panicking. What do I do first? Looking back the odd thing I did first was turn the SHOWER off. THEN I got a towel and started to mop up the spillage. THEN I moved the items that were wet that were on the floor. Only THEN did I think it would be a good idea to turn off the basin tap.

I swear, these things would be funny if they were happening to someone else.

Originally Posted by sidneykidney

I swear, these things would be funny if they were happening to someone else.

Trust me, they are. See my thread "Cats and Straights Don't Mix" from earlier this week to see what I learned about bad cuts. One interesting discovery is that Vitamin E oil can help your half-severed lip knit back together remarkably fast.

Those are some funny mishaps. I'm sorry that they happened to you, but I'm glad you shared them with us. Thanks for the laughs.

Originally Posted by Stilley30

Those are some funny mishaps. I'm sorry that they happened to you, but I'm glad you shared them with us. Thanks for the laughs.

Well if they made you smile i'm glad

I *hope* I dont have anything else for this thread, but no doubts I will have soon enough. When I do, i'll post it for you all.

You got some good stories there. I was
hoping things like this don't happen to
you every time you shave.

John

They dont John, mercifully!

But today another happened to me. I have nicked myself in the stupidest place. I was going to shave that piece of skin right under my nose when.....

.... my hand slipped and I nicked MY NOSE.

My body took a couple of seconds to react. It was as if it was giving me a chance to hear it say 'Well that was a really STUPID thing to do mate, wasnt it?'

Then the crimson line came accross my nose. I now have to go to work sporting the strangest mark and I dont know what i'm going to say when asked to explain it....

Be careful you're not over-stropping. Do you find you have no problems with 100 strokes? 50x each way is almost double what I do.

My stropping for normal routine shaves is 15linen/25leather and sometimes 20/30 for my more tougher blades.