Thread: lets have a contest

Originally Posted by rwebb1683

I told myself I would become much cooler. It hasn't happened yet at least not according to my wife, but in my mind I'm John Wayne and that's all that matters.

Amazing, me too... but now I am cooler!

My wife says it works for me because my initials are J.W. and I smell like I just came off a cattle drive!

Originally Posted by Wintchase

I told people I enjoyed "thebigspenders" stories........ I know, i own it.. It is my cross to bear... Everyone has something ugly in their past! Don't judge me!

"Thebigspendur DOESN'T like this and he DOESN'T thank you for this post-Har har.

Just a reminder, about 4 days left for this.

When I was first learning to shave with a straight razor and would cut myself I told the women at work that they were Dueling Scars.

My Razors are sharp enough to give Chuck Norris BBS!

OK, I have to add this one because it just happened.

My wife found about 30 razors she hadn't seen before in one of my drawers. Since I am supposed to be selling these (gave away 5, but haven't even tried to sell 1 yet) why are all these razors sitting in the drawer not being worked on.

I told her that I am waiting to purchase the SRD Lynn Abrams Modular Paddle Strop. This would guarantee a shave ready razor to each customer. As everybody knows a satisfied cutomer is the most imortant step in getting repeat sales.

So I asked her for an advance on my budget to buy the Paddle Strop and get started selling the razors.

Guess what her answer was?

"You're full of crap! If you don't want to sell them to earn the money, you can just wait and save the money up yourself."

She did appreciate me turning, getting caught stockpiling into a request from more equipment.

It's nice to be appreciated.

Originally Posted by weirdbob

Does anyone else see the irony of him having to hide his straight razor with his guns for fear he may hurt someone?

Aint nothing wrong with that. I hide my liquor in my gun safe. SWMBO never looks in there .

So when my wife was about 8 3/4 months pregnant with our first child she comes out to the living room wearing a grey sweatshirt and grey sweatpants. She looks at me and says "Honey, how do I look? Do I look fat?"; to which I replied "You look fine, not fat at all. You look like a nice healthy manatee". At my response her face turned red, she punched my arm hard enough to bruise and stomped out. I haven't seen that outfit in over 5 years now.
Now I'm sure you're wondering about the lie, right? Well, it was the closest shave of my life... If I had told the truth I would have said that I've seen smaller elephants.

No matter what I buy 'oh, that? I found it at an antique store...$10 bucks! What a deal!'

Have to admit I felt bad when friends were told I have the "golden touch" when it comes to antique store shopping...

The contest is now closed. The Judges will now retire to the deliberation room and we'll announce the winner in a few days.