Thread: Sometimes I get the feeling my father in-law doesn't like me

wait a sec, weren't you the one who posted about family members "let's play a joke to see if he slashes his throat"?

good job keeping your composure, you should buy him a SR as a gift at some point and offer to assist him on learning, small gestures can cross great divides

Maybe it would be better for you to shave at work before classes

Gentlemen,

I must direct you to Bart's comments.

My dear Bart, how right you are, sir. I concur with you completely.

Regards,

Obie

Oh man, sounds harsh.

Well mate, I don't know if Thai culture is anything like Japanese, but when it comes to family relations I think a lot of Asian tradition is heavily influenced by Chinese/Confucian ideas, meaning: You're in his house, you're his. If you take family time, use family space, etc. for your own purposes, he's going to do his best to show you that you are doing so at HIS pleasure. If he's not pleased, he's going to show you.

Plus, you've got his daughter. Ain't no way he's overjoyed about that.

So you can either choose to be the good son in law and bite your lip, or take the reins and let him know that crap doesn't fly...If it were me, I'd be house hunting.

Of course, your wife probably knows him better than you--ask her!

Sounds like you need a laugh Nathan.
Remember, Mr Miyagi says "Man who can shave successfully with distractions from Father-in-law can accomplish anything" :P

Originally Posted by JimR

Oh man, sounds harsh.

Well mate, I don't know if Thai culture is anything like Japanese, but when it comes to family relations I think a lot of Asian tradition is heavily influenced by Chinese/Confucian ideas, meaning: You're in his house, you're his. If you take family time, use family space, etc. for your own purposes, he's going to do his best to show you that you are doing so at HIS pleasure. If he's not pleased, he's going to show you.

Plus, you've got his daughter. Ain't no way he's overjoyed about that.

So you can either choose to be the good son in law and bite your lip, or take the reins and let him know that crap doesn't fly...If it were me, I'd be house hunting.

Of course, your wife probably knows him better than you--ask her!

Jim I think you have hit the nail on the head. This is his house, so he will do what ever he pleases. Also he definitely isn't happy about his favorite little daughter marrying a big bad foreigner. It isn't that he doesn't like me. I think he is scared of me and the ideas I represent. If he tells his family that the sky is purple, then as far as they are concerned the sky is purple. They would blindly follow him to the gates of hell. But I come from a culture where we are taught to think and not blindly follow, and this idea is slowly rubbing off on my wife. Very slowly.
As for house hunting, that is a no go. Foreigners here are not allowed to buy houses and my wife is not in a financial situation which would allow her to buy. So we are stuck here with the in-laws.
I don't really mind it here but I would like it if they acknowledged the depth of my infinite kindness and tolerance towards them.

Maybe he is just preparing you to shave after you have kids...lol Some people just get centered on what they are doing and forget about everyone else...

Originally Posted by Deryan

good job keeping your composure, you should buy him a SR as a gift at some point and offer to assist him on learning, small gestures can cross great divides

not a good advise . Farther in law will use that learning moment to get rid of him heheheh
The best is RUN RUN RUN AS fast as you can.

...maybe he just had to fix the plumbing..