Thread: Thebigspendurs axioms of shaving

I would like to add that screaming inlaws standing close behind you while you have a razor in your hand can make shaving difficult and also make you think evil thoughts.

Originally Posted by ndw76

I would like to add that screaming inlaws standing close behind you while you have a razor in your hand can make shaving difficult and also make you think evil thoughts.

Amen to that! Best location for the "out-laws" is in another state, or preferably, another country (although if you're both in Texas, a dozen or so counties away works, too...hubby left this morning to go visit the outlaws so I have the WEEKEND TO MYSELF!)

Originally Posted by YesSheDoes!

Amen to that! Best location for the "out-laws" is in another state, or preferably, another country (although if you're both in Texas, a dozen or so counties away works, too...

Unfortunately I live with mine, including three mother inlaws, three sons, two daughters, one girlfriend, my brother inlaw's wife, and my wife.
I think of myself as an incredibly patient person.

Originally Posted by ndw76

Unfortunately I live with mine, including three mother inlaws, three sons, two daughters, one girlfriend, my brother inlaw's wife, and my wife.
I think of myself as an incredibly patient person.

I'm surprised your wife puts up with your girlfriend!

Originally Posted by hoglahoo

I'm surprised your wife puts up with your girlfriend!

That would be my brother inlaw's girlfriend, not mine. If I came home with another woman my wife would find another use for my razor. Did you know that Thai surgeons are the foremost experts at penile reconstruction. A service I hope to never need.

New axiom; Get that styptic pencil BEFORE getting a straight, cause when you've got your hands on that knife you will shave with it, and always think that you won't cut yourself. Guess what, you will!
Come to think of it, get a Alum block as well!

Originally Posted by YesSheDoes!

This is exactly why I--in yet another example of role reversal in our marriage--tell my husband to LEAVE ME ALONE AND DO NOT COME INTO MY BATHROOM AT ALL when I am shaving. And I shut the door to keep the dogs and cats out, too.

For some reason, my wife seemed to think, "OK, he's shaving now. It's time to walk behind him from closet to bathroom as many times as I possibly can." I swear, the woman would go all day *without* traveling that small path way, just so she could do it while I was shaving. She never quite took to the dirty looks and big dramatic pause in my shaving, nor the "woman, would you PLEASE not walk behind me while I'm shaving?" hint I screamed at her, so I now LOCK the damn bed room door. She still doesn't get it. Then yesterday I'm honing on the dining room table. She's sitting across from me. I'm mid stroke, and she moves the TABLE instead of her chair to get up. That was the first school girl scream I've let out since... well...EVER. She apologized somewhere amongst her laughter.

Originally Posted by YesSheDoes!

Absolutely! I'm at the point where if I don't get it with 2 passes, maybe 3, I live with a tiny bit of stubble. It just ain't always worth it to go for the baby's-butt smooth.

Straight shaving has taught me more about OCD control than anything else...

OCD: "you MUST get that last spot!"

Pain Control Center: "Nooooooo! It HURTS, you idiot!"

Now I'm not *clinically* OCD (I can stop ANYTIME I WANT! ), but straight shaving should be at the top of the prescription list for those inclined toward OCD.

As a Murphy's Law adaptation of this axiom, I always get out the styptic pencil before I shave, to reduce the likelihood I'll need it.

Originally Posted by Stuggi

New axiom; Get that styptic pencil BEFORE getting a straight, cause when you've got your hands on that knife you will shave with it, and always think that you won't cut yourself. Guess what, you will!
Come to think of it, get a Alum block as well!