Thread: 10 Commandments of Cutthroat Shaving

Remember the Sheffields, and keep them holy.

"Thou shalt send all of your American made straights to Theseus"

Yes, my commandments are really selfish.

4. "Thou shalt not strop naked!"I always wondered if I was the only one who Worried about that!!(:-)

1. Regardless how many outside the door gather, thou shalt not ever hurry the lather
2. When thine arm starts aching, moaning, and groaning, thou shalt take a break from the marathon honing
3. SWMBO shall find out, so prepare for the day, when she discovers the history on thy ebay
4. RAD, HAD, SAD, and SBAD: they shalt leave a man happy, but his banker quite mad
5. No matter how often tempatation may hit, thou shalt not estimate your PHIG hone's true grit
6. Thou shalt refer not to chip removal as honing, for Glen will hunt you down to give you a stoning
7. Take thou advice from this erstwhile scholar, and never ever mention the bloody Gold Dollar
8. Whether honing on coticule, Norton, or Escher, thou shalt not ever use too much pressure
9. One day thou shalt laugh and find it quite funny, that thou started wet shaving to save (ha!) some money
10. Whether it's dreadnaught or French point, or Irish or Spanish; hollow or wedge that you always find mannish; a giant old chopper or a blade fine as lace, thou shalt find The One that's right for your face

Well spake'd Master gooner.


Mick

Cangooner, you made this old man's day! Thank you, buddy!

well done Cangooner, the beer and music obviously worked.

Cangooner

I realy like #3.

Dave

this is weak, but hey why not enjoy the fun. I made some of my own and borrowed from others


Tablet 1
1- Thou shalt worship no razor other than thy straight razor.
2- Thou shalt not carve’n thy visage with thy blade.
3- Thou shalt not take the Lords name in vain when thy wife or children burst into the bathroom. Thou mayest curseth thy wife, but curseth thy Lord not.
4- Remember thy aftershave, so that thy face doth not get bumpy-eth.
5- Honor thy blade, chipeth it not.

Tablet 2
6- Thou shalt not kill the one who causes you to filet thy face, strike them not. They must sleepeth soon, hold thy revenge until then.
7- Thou shalt not use canned shaving cream. Ever
8- Thou shalt lock the bathroom door, or buy more bandages.
9- Thou shalt honor thy strop and thy brush. Treat them well that they may serve you well.
10- Covet not they neighbors razor. Go and buy-eth your own that you may gloat-eth over others less fortunate than thou.
Tablet 3
11- Stropeth not in thy nakedness less thou grabbeth the wrong leather.
12- Shave not the regions you may regret losing if thou committith error.
13- Clean up thy mess that thy spouse doth not become wroth.
14- Learneth to hone that you may always shave well.
15- Never let thy spouse see thy shave bills.